A while ago, I was approached by Mr A, a young man at the beginning of his career. Like many young professionals, he was trying to build a future in a job market that had become increasingly competitive and uncertain. Although he felt fortunate to have secured a stable job, it paid below-average wages and offered limited opportunities for growth. He knew he wanted more, but he also wanted to earn it the right way.
His challenge began at home. His mother frequently encouraged him to use nepotism, commonly known as 'wasta,' to find a better-paying job.
In her eyes, there was simply no legitimate way left to compete in the current market. She believed that connections had become more important than qualifications, and that refusing to use them would only place him at a disadvantage.
At first, he felt offended. He interpreted her advice as an indication that she believed he was incapable of finding a better job on his own. To him, it suggested that his hard work, qualifications, and determination were not enough, and that his future would ultimately depend on factors beyond his control.
He also worried that if he did obtain a job through 'wasta', he would always carry the knowledge that his competence alone had not been enough to earn the opportunity.
To be fair, his mother was not trying to discourage him or undermine his abilities. She genuinely wanted what was best for her son. Her advice reflected what she had been hearing from friends and relatives, many of whom shared stories of qualified people struggling to find work while others advanced through personal connections.
Over time, she had come to believe that this was simply how the system worked.
While Mr A understood her concerns, he could not bring himself to agree. His moral compass would not allow him to take that path, despite her repeated argument that 'everyone else is doing it.'
For that reason, he decided to keep his next job search private. There were two reasons for this decision. More importantly, he wanted to avoid conversations that he believed might gradually persuade him to abandon the values he was trying so hard to uphold.
After a long and demanding search, Mr A received an offer for a new job. Along with it came something even more valuable than a higher salary. He had the satisfaction of knowing that he had earned the opportunity through his own abilities, perseverance, and integrity, without relying on unfair advantages.
Mr A’s story reminds us that success is measured by more than salaries or job titles. There are moments in life when the greatest achievement is preserving the person we want to become. His greatest reward was not simply receiving an offer letter. It was the confidence to look in the mirror and know that he had remained true to himself.
In a world where shortcuts often seem tempting, and where people may insist that 'this is just how things work,' perhaps the greatest victory is proving, first to yourself, that another path is still possible.
Dr Hamed al Sinawi
The writer is a senior consultant psychiatrist at SQU Hospital
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