What is success? Is it an achievement of one’s dreams? Is it living up to someone else’s, maybe society’s expectations?
Compared to the global West, the Middle East, particularly Oman, places a lot of value on traditions, family and brotherhood; and hence, a successful life here might look a bit different from that in the West. The focus here may be more on meeting social expectations than achieving materialistic goals.
However, the pressures of the modern world are fast catching up in this region as well and it is the newer generations who are often caught in the middle. Add to that the aspirational lifestyle goals peddled by celebrities, influencers and the like.
Top Grades, Extracurricular achievements, international education, preferably Ivy League, Impressive CVs, 6-figure salaries, foreign travel, dream mansions, luxury vehicles, high net worth, Financial Independence.... The list can go on. Worse, with each milestone, the finishing line just keeps moving further ahead.
But what really is true success?
In 1905, a Boston firm ran a contest for a short essay on the topic “What Constitutes Success? The winning entry by Bessie Anderson Stanley defined success like this:
“He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often and loved much; who has gained the respect of intelligent men and the love of little children; who has filled his niche and accomplished his task; who has left the world better than he found it, whether by an improved poppy, a perfect poem, or a rescued soul; who has never lacked appreciation of earth’s beauty or failed to express it; who has always looked for the best in others and given the best he had; whose life was an inspiration; whose memory a benediction”.
More than a century later, in the age of social media and AI, this definition seems almost laughable. What once felt noble now sounds naive — an idealistic dream.
A growing number of high-achieving professionals across disciplines have confessed to a growing sense of emptiness despite having achieved coveted goals. Those beginning to climb the proverbial ladder tend to have a rosy view of the view at the top. However, the ones at the top seem to get jaded by the climb. They realise they haven’t reached anywhere meaningful; the ladder they spent years climbing was leaning against the wrong wall. This could be because while defining success, we forgot to include significance.
While success focuses on accomplishments, significance looks for the human impact. It doesn’t ask how far we have gone, but whether we held ourselves or others along. When chasing success, the goalposts keep moving. There is always a new expectation. A goal that once appeared too extraordinary feels ordinary once achieved. Hedonic adaptation makes one return to one's baseline of happiness.
On the other hand, significance is measured by the impact. It is about the difference we make within us and in the lives of those around us and the legacy we leave behind. The call to be significant is not just reserved for extraordinary individuals. Consider the teacher who inspires a struggling student to believe in themselves. Or the parent whose values shape a compassionate child. Or the manager who expands the horizons of her team.
Still, this is not an argument against ambition. But the problem is when we equate material success with the worth and meaning of our lives; when these markers become the measure of a life well-lived. The real path is to pursue success without forgetting significance. It is imperative that we ensure that the ladder we are climbing is held against the right wall.
Coming back to that 120-year-old definition of success, maybe it’s time to ask the question — is it as naive as it seems? Is it an outdated vision or a challenge for the times?
Dr Sam Samuel
The writer is a coach, business mentor and social entrepreneur
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