Do you live your life in accordance to your beliefs, values and dreams regardless of what anyone thinks - Or do you find yourself abiding by other people’s requests (opinions)?
Do you find yourself trying to pursue the things that you know will award you joy and happiness yet your focus get diverted in order to bring pride to well-meaning family members, harmony between friends or stability among colleagues? This happens to the majority of us. As much as we might not like to, we do live life in accordance to others’ expectations.
The desire to do something different which is in alignment with our biggest dreams, often gets quietened and lays dormant as the voice of criticism and cynicism screams the loudest.
However, this voice is not our own but that of our inner critic, which unfortunately listens intently to the external stimuli and hence constantly butts its’ negative head against the fragile window of our aspirations.
In turn, these demeaning thoughts can become debilitating and in this sullen state they will easily arrest you from even starting – from the onset already labelling yourself a failure and incapable.
Does this rhetorical question ring true to you: “I am doomed to fail, so why do I even bother to start?”
We often live our lives according to how we think others will perceive our actions. So we are not really living a life bountifully led by our ambitions, but we fill it with what we think others will judge us on. In all truth, we have no clue what others think.
Yet, we do make decisions based on how we think other people perceive us.
Jay Shetty said it well: “we live in a perception of a perception of ourselves. If I think you think I am smart, then I feel smart. If I think you think I am stupid, then I feel stupid. So we are basing our own self-worth on a perception of a perception.” How fascinating is that?
It is someone else’s subjective opinion, so in essence we are being subjective about someone’s subjectivity - which we live on a daily basis. This is not sustainable in the long run.
To get out of this spiral, the key is to refine your intention, as this is the easiest thing to be led astray. When we hold clarity as to why we do something and work tirelessly to achieve it, all the while being aligned with our values, then things will manifest organically, with more breadth and vigour.
This will allow you to focus on the outcomes you want regardless of others’ opinions.
Over time, leaning into your self-development, building your confidence, quietening the inner-critic and doing daily steps to improve the connection with yourself will allow you to be seen and heard. In turn, this will enable you to drown out the noise of others and focus on the wisdom that resides inside.
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