Do you have ‘Purpose Anxiety’?

Ellen Hendriksen, a clinical psychologist in Boston, often speaks with clients who feel anxious about their path in life.

Some went to medical school because their parents expected them to, “and were miserable as a result,” she said. Others worked really hard to reach the top of their field only to wonder, “What was it all for?”

What they did not realize was that they were each struggling to find a life purpose, she said, which is sometimes referred to as “purpose anxiety.”

Purpose is one of the most important ways in which we make meaning out of our lives. Once established, “it becomes the architectural framework, the blueprint for how to organize your life,” said Todd Kashdan, a professor of psychology at George Mason University who studies how people seek and live out purpose.

It also comes with a variety of benefits. Having a sense of purpose is associated with better physical health, higher levels of happiness and life satisfaction, lower levels of depression and anxiety, and even a longer life.

Fortunately, experts say, there are ways to discover your sense of purpose without falling into a tailspin.

What is purpose and why does it spark anxiety?

The phrase “purpose anxiety” isn’t commonly used in psychology, but it is a familiar concept to both researchers and clinicians. The phrase appears to have been coined in 2014 by a psychology graduate student who studied the topic, concluding that most people crave a sense of purpose in life but “nearly always encounter purpose anxiety during their search process, no matter the searcher’s age.”

Sometimes this anxiety stems from misunderstandings about what purpose actually is and the role that it plays in our lives, Kashdan said.

For one, people often think of purpose as something that only benefits themselves. But people attain the most psychological gains by pursuing a purpose that also benefits others.

Second, some people assume that purpose requires a lofty goal, such as attaining a high leadership position or curing a disease.

That assumption “can make people really anxious, like, ‘Oh, how am I ever going to move up to that bar or meet that threshold?’” said Patrick Hill, a professor of psychological and brain sciences at Washington University in St. Louis who has studied purpose for more than a decade.

But your purpose can be smaller and less ambitious, the experts said. It can also change throughout your lifetime, and you can have more than one purpose at the same time.

For the last decade, Daryl Van Tongeren, a psychology professor at Hope College in Holland, Michigan, has found purpose in planting pepper seeds, nurturing their tender stems and then harvesting them to make hot sauce for his family and friends.

It’s a departure from his day job, and it’s a fun way to connect with the people he loves.

Van Tongeren’s research has found that acting in ways that benefit others can increase meaning in life. “Doing so improves our relationships, and relationships are the surest source of meaning,” he said.

How can you find what makes you feel alive?

Finding purpose can be difficult. A survey of more than 2,400 Gen Zers published in June found that about 45% of respondents reported a lack of meaning or purpose in their lives.

If you’re feeling stuck, there are a few approaches you can take.

One is to actively seek out purpose, Kashdan said, by trying different activities, reading about the things that interest you and paying attention to what makes you feel alive. This also requires periods of reflection to pinpoint which of the experiences felt most meaningful and why.

Another way to find purpose is by seeking inspiration in a transformative life event, Kashdan said. For example, an athlete who got injured and was forced to retire might find new purpose in helping other people heal their bodies and decide to become a physical therapist.

Tasha Edwards, 51, who lives in Madison, Alabama, has found purpose in teaching exercise classes and serving as a health coach, especially for low-income people who are often stressed and overwhelmed.

Edwards, who grew up in a housing project, knew what it felt like to have financial difficulties and for her health to fall to the bottom of the priority list. She wanted to help her clients find “some sense of control when they felt like they had nothing,” she added, and not just tell people how many push-ups to do.

Last, Kashdan recommended something called “social learning,” which means noticing and then mimicking other people’s good behavior. Or, alternatively, paying attention when other people elicit moral disgust or irritation, which can teach you whom you don’t want to be, he added.

“The more curious you are, the more questions you ask, the more you compare their version of living to what you think might be ideal for you, the more motivational energy emerges to experiment with that life for yourself,” Kashdan said.

This article originally appeared in The New York Times.