Another man’s grass is always greener

Work keeps us busy, doesn’t it? It consumes about a third of every workday, a quarter of our adult lives, and funds our lifestyles, so...

Confucius said, “Choose a job you love, and you’ll never work a day in your life.” That love is hard to find, because we rarely stay in the one job for life. It’s not that we don’t want to, but the workplace has become so dynamic, with ownership changes, corporate acquisitions, bankruptcies, and our changing needs affecting our ability to stay in that one job.

While staying with one employer is ideal, it rarely happens. As many as 55 per cent of us find our job is ‘not what it’s cracked up to be', and start looking around for something else! In fact, research by parkerdewey.com tells us that 70 per cent of us will ‘move on', within two years. It’s not easy to find a job that engages with talent, encourages, motivates, and rewards, in the way we want. So, we look around, and the grass always appears greener elsewhere! Some jobs look brilliant on paper, yet few measure up. Emotion-driven jobs like the police, nursing and teaching appeal to our moral and social responsibilities, our desire to build futures, to shape and save lives, drawing on empathy, and a desire to ‘do good'. Policing can be violent and unpleasant, nursing gruelling and distressful, and teaching frustrating, and incredibly demanding. Yet, thousands still choose them.

Others are just odd. The most unusual job I know is that of a ‘Chicken Sexer', who takes one-or-two-day-old hatchling chicks, and gender assesses a thousand an hour, with an incredible 98 per cent success rate, by identifying their ‘bump', and long, straight feathers among the males, ‘cockerels,’ or by their ‘bubble', and alternating long and short feathers among female ‘pullets'. How unique, and weird, is that job? This ‘Purchasing Specialist', vacancy caught my eye as being extraordinarily demanding: “The role oversees purchase policies, procedures, and processes, leverages product expertise, procurement planning, strategic sourcing, manages inbound purchase orders and facilitates special order fulfilment, delivering a vast product inventory, with speed and reliability.” This company appears to really want its ‘pound of flesh', doesn’t it? That impression was reinforced in their person specification: “The position requires minimum A-Levels in Mathematics and English, proficiency with Enterprise Resource Planning systems, Microsoft Excel, MS Office, Word, Excel, PowerPoint, and Outlook; strong numerical, analytical, organisational, multi-tasking, and communication skills; experience in computers, IT, virtual platforms, purchasing, via vendor-specific platforms, web-based and phone systems.”

So, they also want an immense range of skills, don’t they? So, now let’s look at the duties, or job specs: “The appointee will utilise the ERP system effectively for accurate data entry, messaging, queue management, batching, communication workflow, and purchasing; Maintain precise records within ERP, managing and updating purchase orders; Review lead times for effective strategic planning; Resolve vendor delivery and pricing issues, expedite damage and freight claims efficiently, cultivate strong vendor relationships, escalate problem-solving as appropriate, and perform additional duties to meet evolving organisational needs.”

That last clause means “and anything else...” So, in addition to the number and complexity of the tasks, they must be done ‘accurately, effectively, efficiently, precisely, and reliably', all demanding adjectives, indicating almost immaculate expectations, and now looking incredibly intimidating. Yet, reading on, we find, “The role is 37.5 hours weekly involving routine physical activity including: bending, lifting, and carrying up to 4kg; continuous, prolonged use of hands and arms, extended sitting, intermittent standing and walking; frequent phone communication and inter-person interactions,” which are almost ridiculously facile, docile in comparison with the earlier demands.

I don’t know. Maybe it’s just this PC world, but I guess they felt the need to dot i’s, cross t’s, and cover bases. That final paragraph made me smile, then laugh, and I still smile every time I reflect upon it.

Maybe though... you get the company medical plan, pension plan, gym membership, life insurance, paid holidays, professional development opportunities, and a better salary? So, maybe the other man’s grass is greener?