As we reach the end of the year, I find myself reflecting on my personal and professional journey. I think about what I achieved, what remains unfinished and what lessons have shaped me.
This year, I decided to share some of the wisdom I have gathered through reading and listening to people’s stories in my clinical work.
We often equate psychological strength with being unbreakable — immune to pain, disappointment, or failure.
Many people confuse resilience with emotional numbness: “If I feel nothing, nothing can hurt me.” But this belief is inaccurate and harmful, cutting us off from the experiences that help us grow.
In my clinical practice, I often meet individuals who have spent years waiting for rescue. They wait for the right person, the perfect opportunity, or a sudden change that will finally put their lives in order. Support and compassion are essential, of course. Yet there is an uncomfortable truth we all must face: no one is coming to save us from our inner struggles.
Responsibility for healing, growth and direction ultimately lies with you. Once we stop waiting for rescue, we inevitably encounter discomfort, and this brings us to our uneasy relationship with pain.
We live in an age obsessed with comfort, quick solutions, instant relief and constant distraction. Any unpleasant emotion is treated as something to be silenced. Yet pain is not always an enemy. Failure, loss and disappointment are often our most powerful teachers.
Psychological growth rarely happens when everything is easy; it happens when life challenges us, and we choose to learn rather than collapse. Avoiding pain at all costs may feel safe, but it quietly builds emotional fragility.
Equally important is understanding the limits of control. Many people exhaust themselves trying to change their partners, colleagues, parents, or even entire systems.
This struggle usually ends in frustration and resentment. The truth is simple but difficult to accept you cannot change people who do not want to change. You're either accepting them as they are with awareness or stepping away with dignity. Anything else is emotional self-sabotage.
Fear of judgement is another silent prison. Many dreams die not because they are impossible, but because people worry too much about what others might say. Ironically, most people are far too busy dealing with their own insecurities to analyse your life as you imagine. When self-worth becomes dependent on external approval, decisions lose authenticity.
Finally, there is a crucial distinction between emotions and values. While our feelings are important signals, we need to remember that they are not instructions. Feeling afraid does not mean you should stop. Feeling unmotivated does not mean you are weak.
True resilience is not about becoming a rock-rigid, cold and unfeeling, but more flexible, adaptive and shaped by circumstances.
As this year closes, perhaps the goal is not to avoid falling, but to learn how to rise again and again with a little more wisdom each time. Not harder. Not colder. But wiser, kinder and more alive.
Dr Hamed Al Sinawi
The writer is a senior consultant psychiatrist at SQU Hospital
Oman Observer is now on the WhatsApp channel. Click here
