During my training as a psychiatrist in the UK, a patient with depression filed a complaint against my colleague, claiming he was misdiagnosed and started on the wrong treatment. The patient appointed a lawyer who asked for huge financial compensation. My colleague had to attend a few court meetings, which made him feel frustrated and angry about the patient’s complaint.
He told me how his negative feelings toward that particular patient affected him, especially since he always did his best to care for his patients and went the extra mile to help them.
Doctors and healthcare workers are frequently subjected to complaints, criticism, or even physical aggression from their patients, yet they are expected to remain calm, neutral, and empathetic.
This experience made me reflect on how medical professionals are often placed in challenging positions. Doctors and healthcare workers are frequently subjected to complaints, criticism, or even physical aggression from their patients, yet they are expected to remain calm, neutral, and empathetic. But what happens when a doctor reaches the point of disliking—or even hating—a patient?
Is it possible to overcome such feelings and continue to provide ethical and compassionate care?
The book When a Doctor Hates a Patient by Richard C Horton explores this complex issue in depth. Horton examines the emotional, ethical, and professional dilemmas that arise when a doctor’s personal feelings clash with their professional responsibilities.
The book discusses how negative emotions—such as frustration, annoyance, or even outright dislike—can stem from challenging patient behaviours, such as unrealistic demands or non-compliance. Horton emphasises the importance of self-awareness in managing these emotional reactions, urging doctors to recognise and address their biases while maintaining empathy, even in the most difficult circumstances.
As a medical doctor, I often reflect on how my personal feelings can influence my clinical decisions, for better or worse. For example, when treating a young man who is the same age as my son, I have to remind myself not to slip into a parental role. It is crucial to focus on the specific needs of the patient without letting my emotions cloud my judgement.
Similarly, I sometimes encounter patients who make decisions that I strongly disagree with. In those moments, I must remind myself that each patient has the right to make their own choices and bear the consequences, even if I believe their decisions are unwise.
This self-awareness is not always easy to achieve. It requires constant reflection, professional maturity, and a commitment to ethical practice. However, it is vital for preserving the integrity of the doctor-patient relationship.
Open and respectful communication plays a key role in overcoming strained interactions. Listening to patients without judgement, seeking to understand their perspective, and offering guidance rather than imposing authority can often transform a tense situation into a collaborative one.
Negative emotions are part of being human, and doctors are no exception. What distinguishes a good doctor is not the absence of such feelings but the ability to recognise and manage them effectively. By maintaining a professional yet compassionate approach, we can navigate even the most challenging relationships with patients. After all, the ultimate goal is to provide care that prioritises the well-being of the patient while preserving our own mental and emotional health.
Oman Observer is now on the WhatsApp channel. Click here
