When it comes to your overall energy, do you find yourself over-committing and seldom finding the time to fill up your own cup due to everyone else draining your reserves?
Perhaps boundaries have not been enforced which have rendered your sparkle to fizzle. Taking care of others needs can demand a bit of our attention and potentially create overwhelm. Therefore, enforcing peripheries will in turn reduce anxiety and stress.
Setting boundaries is a crucial element of maintaining healthy relationships, with yourself and others - in your personal and professional life - for it allows your energy and time to be safeguarded within the limits created.
Healthy boundaries communicate to others what you will and will not tolerate. They empower you to take charge of your life.
Boundary work can help you develop a stronger sense of self. When you know your own worth and are comfortable asserting yourself, you are less likely to be taken advantage of or mistreated.
When you have clear boundaries set in place, you can better prioritise your own needs and avoid taking on responsibilities that don't align with your values or goals.
Setting limits, communicating expectations and enforcing consequences when those borders are violated will make you feel valued, seen and heard.
Establishing adequate time and space for yourself promotes self-respect and self-care while conveying that your time, energy and requests are important.
When needs and limitations are expressed - this can be done verbally, written or enforced by gradually giving less and less of your time - a framework for healthy interactions will be created and misunderstandings will be avoided.
In turn, this respect will build stronger, more trustworthy relationships based on honesty and authenticity, rather than obligation or guilt.
However, setting boundaries can be challenging as you may feel uncomfortable or even worried to implement them.
It can be difficult to say no to someone or to ask for what you need, especially if you're worried about hurting their feelings or damaging the relationship. Remember that setting boundaries is ultimately an act of selfless self-care, not selfish insolence.
To start setting them, first identify what your needs are. Write down a list of things that depletes your energy and causes unnecessary stress or discomfort. Who do you feel causes more harm than help? Which draining activity can be delegated or omitted?
Saying no to requests that don't align with your values or asking for support are good starting points. While you may need to repeat yourself - after all, boundary work enforces all parties to go through a transition phase - remain consistent with your demands and don’t feel the need to apologise or over explain.
Ultimately, those who love, respect and value the relationship will courteously listen and observe your wishes.
Setting boundaries is essential to maintaining healthy relationships, promoting self-care and protecting your mental health.
By prioritising your own needs, communicating clearly and managing your time and energy effectively, you can experience greater happiness, fulfillment and overall life satisfaction.
Hyesha Barrett
The writer is a life coach and NLP practitioner
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