Despite loving your child and sparing no effort unturned for your child; still, that voice echoes in your head that you are not doing enough for your little one.
You look around and you find other mommies managing their kids perfectly; though apparently, however, enough to escalate your anxieties.
For a mother, this ‘mommy’s guilt’ is always churning within.
According to a study published in Research Gate, mothers often describe experiencing guilt when thinking about living up to the ‘good mother’ ideal and when taking time away from their ‘mother role obligations’ to look after themselves.
Sometimes, it is the ideology that is woven around everywhere in societies and cultures that mothers are perfect; their role is deciphered so holy that there is no margin for any wrong in taking care of her children.
Albeit we forget at the end of the day, she is a human who has embraced motherhood for the first time in her life.
As the child is nourishing under her clement and mellow care, she is too sprouting as a mother. Traversing and learning on this motherhood journey without any prior experiences, it is innate to err that should be given space for self-auto correction rather than judgments.
How to get rid of this guilt feeling?
As this is the prevalent emotion that hits all the mothers; so, if you too feel a bit this way, it is okay but do not let this be overwhelming. Don't be panicked when someone tells you their kid started crawling at 7 months and yours is not able to walk yet by the age of 12 months. Or nursing mothers are better than formula-feeding mothers.
Every child is different and so are their learning paces. The same goes for moms and their care giving ways. No method is superior or inferior; hence do not fall into the trap of comparisons and underrating yourself.
Revisit your tribe, and pick up the right people that surround you who are your support system. People who do not measure your motherhood talent but understand that you will be weary, or your house will be messy or you need some time away from your kid too to regain your energy back. You need to be at peace with yourself to be there for your kid.
Over and above all, your child is your biggest coup; for him, you are his entire world. No criticism, no judgments can beat the acquisition that for him you matter unconditionally and you are an amazing mom!
Dr Nisma Haris
The writer is a general physician and content creator