Listening is a fundamental communication skill, although it is often ignored in both practice and research. Academic research predominantly focuses on language and discourse, and people are more focused on talking than on listening.
Modern life has consequences in an increasingly interconnected world. There is a rush to speak and argue rather than listen. Have you ever paid attention to how organisers of press conferences manipulate the question-and-answer sections?
Unless it is a win-win discussion with concessions, dialogue is dying. This vanishing process is related to technological advancements that encourage rapid and fragmented communication.
Les Back argues in his book The Art of Listening (2007) that our culture is more inclined to talk than to listen. From reality TV to political rallies, there is a clamour to be heard, to narrate, and to receive attention. A rise in narcissism and entitlement is vastly changing society. There is an erosion of civility, writes Les Back.
Listening theory can be traced back to Listen to People, written in 1957 by Ralph Nichols and Leonard Stevens. In this work, the authors assert that immediately after listening to an audio piece, a person remembers about half of what was heard. However, two weeks later, this recall diminishes to around 25 per cent or less. For the authors, students should take listening training to improve their ability to understand spoken words.
One significant issue arising from inadequate listening skills is that individuals may recognise the words spoken but fail to grasp their underlying meaning. They may rapidly forget what they have heard or apply selective hearing, hindering their ability to form a mental representation of the words. Most people listen with the intent to reply, not understand. We skim, react, and move on without absorbing anything, and social media amplifies this situation.
There is a need to attune our listening skills to the nuances of society. I don’t mean focusing on the noise of social media. Many people on social platforms are posting shallow opinions, biased narratives, and disinformation in an attempt to gain popularity or to do a disservice. But what made us stop listening? Perhaps there is an overwhelming influx of information coupled with a decline in civility.
People spend shockingly little time listening to others, particularly political leaders, whether elected or appointed. Signs indicate a fractured relationship between citizens and their representatives. Those in positions of authority need to assess their performance based on clear societal expectations.
Genuine listening is rare these days, mainly in the diplomatic, international relations, and governance spheres. Not understanding or accepting the views and concerns of others can lead to unsuccessful consequences.
The deliberate act of not listening to someone or something is called disregard; however, it can also be called ostracism, a manipulative tactic of ignoring or not listening to people in social and work environments. Ostracism, the act of ignoring or excluding a person or group from society, has its roots in ancient Greek political practices.
In a trial of talking and listening interactions with random individuals, I’ve found that most of them have deep-seated opinions and seldom read anything other than amusing social media posts or topics related to their interests. This highlights the societal reality of a significant decline in empathy, which can be linked to the impact of technology and the desensitisation caused by the media.
We exist at a superficial level, hastily adopting and discarding ideas and trends. Our lives are characterised by a constant state of distraction, where listening is neither valued nor practised effectively. Our emotions are often our worst enemies. They can cloud judgement, leading to reactive responses rather than attentive listening.
Among so many facets of communication, listening is our weakest quality. According to Les Back, we need to repair our capacity to listen to people.
Sonia Ambrosio
The writer is journalist, academic and researcher in media studies
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