Confined in a letter

Have you ever felt a sense of turmoil, feeling like your entire worth is defined by one letter? As if it’s a verdict that labels your value. Ironically, “A” is what the word “Anything” starts with, yet it is usually valued when standing alone, on that report or transcript. For many students, this "A" is an excellence stamp, proof of distinction, and of being great. Somehow, a single letter is sickly, but we still stick to it as if we are worth nothing without it.

Students are stuck in a web of threads spun from expectations, conditional pride, and love. They convince themselves that the web is a safe place, and they try so hard to belong by working hard to get that perfect score. But the truth is, even when they earn it, they still feel trapped. Deep down, they know it was never about achievement; it’s always been about approval.

The question is, where did all of this begin? The “A” pressure is not without biases. For many of us, it began at home, rooted in childhood. We were raised this way; it’s part of who we are. We are raised in subtle ways. For As, we are praised, and for less than that perfection, we get ashamed. It's their silence, their eyes, brimming with disappointment that creates pressure. Though I’m not blaming the parents, after all, it’s also the way they were raised. But I hope for a change.

However, this pressure goes beyond the front door of our homes. In every door we step in, it accompanies us. In schools, on social media, and even in neighbourhoods or in relatives' houses. In all these places and to most people, academic success is a clear sign of a bright future. So, it makes sense that people around us think of it as proof of doing well in life. Yet it stings as love and acceptance feel conditional because of this societal demand.

Unfortunately, effort doesn’t always reflect excellence, not on paper or in others’ eyes. To them, no other letter than A could reflect the hard work, sleepless nights, stress, and all the hopeless attempts. Those students who try hard but still don’t get As are overlooked. Therefore, the chains of pressure tighten and students end up losing the hope that might ease these chains.

Sometimes failure doesn’t hurt as much as feeling like you are not enough, regardless of your hard work.

Teachers who are supposed to be the guardians of their students disappointingly continue the cycle of pressure. Their motivation is masked. Students dismayingly swallow the “ you could’ve done better”, “ work harder next time,” or “ I expected more from you.” In silence, they end up believing that they’re not enough, even though they truly give what they have. Sadly, they start to talk to themselves with the same masked, harsh tone. Eventually, they lose hope in growing and improving, and instead, they end up questioning their worth.

Questions like “why?” “What's wrong with me?” or “Am I ever gonna feel proud of who I am?” shatter their world.

Teachers and parents are foundational figures in students’ lives who were often victims of this systematic oppression, too. They went through that storm of pressure once, and now they are passing it on without even realising it.

Societies need to heal. They need to break the cycle. So, students can learn to be proud of their effort no matter what’s labelled. Passion should be rewarded with compassion and pride.

Finally, schools should celebrate and appreciate students’ attempts. The change begins with teachers and parents breaking free from that pressure rooted in their minds.

Students’ dedication should be fuelled and fully embraced, even if they don’t fulfil the cup of expectation: Half the cup indicates there is still extra space for more.