Time flies! My life is transitioning from one phase to the next. Every year is a blessing, and I am grateful for it. A birthday is like a milestone, and my journey has been one of tribulations and excitement.
It is a wonderful opportunity to mark the passage of time and create positive memories. There is a whole new world out there, and it is time to enjoy something new. Within the trend of rewriting attitudes, we, ‘old people’, embrace and adapt changes to fit an alternative lifestyle.
I love my wrinkles, the fading of physical features, and the loss of attractive lips. It is challenging to conceal the bags under my eyes; nevertheless, I joyfully embrace the celebration of yet another birthday. Physical appearance is a form of aesthetic capital in sociology, and I am losing such capital. I have reached maturity (hopefully) and an understanding of what it means to advance in life.
Aging has only been made difficult by those who set standards. The multifaceted billion-dollar beauty industry tells us that the young are good and the old are bad. This emphasis is part of a broader rise in the importance of values in society. Neither individuals nor society are ready for old age.
Social media, beauty influencers and clinics bombard us with marketing strategies that uphold beauty standards. Even in the job market, some people prefer hiring young and attractive faces. The obsession with youth and beauty defines social acceptance. It is challenging not to undergo aesthetic procedures. We can craft the outside, but not the inside.
Marketing and media messages tell us that life goes south after a certain age, and we are offered anti-aging products and suggestions for lifestyles to help us avoid falling downhill.
It is amusing that, at a certain point, we realise we are use-by-date individuals who are forced to relinquish a lifetime of building up.
Forget about wisdom or knowledge. Society is not interested. We now live in the age of TikTok and artificial intelligence. In the flip side, aging as a developmental process is liberating because you stop caring much about what others think of you.
As I stand before myself contemplating my journey and the shorter path ahead, I feel grateful for each stone along the way, the dreams I had, the tears I shed, the goals I had set for myself and my legacy as a woman, mother and professional.
Embracing the privilege of birthday celebrations may not be for everyone. Some people don’t like to commemorate. Perhaps they have encountered negative experiences or struggled with the passage of time. As old age brings challenges, everyone reacts to it differently.
Emotionally, it is not easy getting older. Loneliness, loss of self-confidence, anxiety, money worries, disability, and unexplained aches and pains are just a few of the reasons people shun celebrations. We should not wake up fearful of falling. We should not be terrified of descending a ladder or stairway.
In this journey, there are moments of immense happiness and instants of deep despair. Eventually, I will lean on my cane and walk slower, but the years cannot change how young and cheerful I feel on the inside. With my determination and attitude to keep moving forward, I can still live some of my best days with the understanding that everything has its time.
As the years take their toll on me, the smartest approach is to enjoy the moment, as coming down happens naturally and hopefully, peacefully. To quote Lewis Carroll in Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, “I can’t go back to yesterday – because I was a different person then”, but I can transform myself. Life is a dynamic entity.
Sonia Ambrosio
The writer is journalist, academic and researcher in media studies
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