As discussed in my previous article on this topic I have experienced both the role of a parent and that of a School Principal when it comes to addressing the issue of school bullying. I must admit that dealing with bullying as a School Principal and owner was emotionally taxing, but it pales in comparison to the emotional turmoil of discovering that your own children are victims.
Whilst my school bullying policy of "two strikes and you’re out" might not align with the views of many educationalists, I can confidently say that it worked at my schools. It protected the victims and resulted in little to no bullying within my schools in Cambridge.
For parents, discovering that their child is a victim of bullying, can be incredibly challenging and emotionally distressing. In this article I provide some advice that will assist parents in navigating this difficult situation. While I won't delve into great detail of how to identify whether your child is being bullied, I will highlight a few key behavioural signs to watch out for. Keep in mind that these behaviours may have various causes, but bullying should be considered as a possible reason: your child frequently makes excuses to avoid school, develops eating disorders like binge eating or anorexia nervosa (which requires immediate medical attention), displays signs of depression, engages in vandalism or starts abusing drugs or alcohol. A bullied child will go to great lengths to evade school and may create numerous excuses.
Discovering that your child is being bullied presents a unique challenge as children and particularly teenagers are often hesitant to confide in their parents due to fears of further bullying, appearing "uncool" in front of friends or seeming weak. Parents should be aware that their involvement might cause embarrassment for their child.
So once you've confirmed that your child is being bullied what should you do next? It's crucial not to simply sit back and do nothing. If your child were suffering from a serious medical condition like a severe skin rash, high fever or constant vomiting, seeking medical advice would be a no-brainer. However, some parents delay taking action when it comes to bullying. During this delay your child continues to suffer. Bullying demands a serious response. It can harm not only your child's academic progress but also their long-term mental health. Tragically children and teenagers have even taken their own lives as a result of in-person or online bullying. By law all schools should have anti-bullying programmes in place and these programmes should be understood and supported by all teaching staff.
As parents you are your child's most crucial advocate. Start by speaking with your child's teacher about the issue. If the bullying persists and there's no improvement insist on speaking directly with the School Principal. If the situation still doesn't improve, continue to press the School Principal for action. Clearly communicate that if the bullying does not stop you are prepared to escalate the matter to higher authorities. Additionally, reach out to other parents since it's likely that if your child is being bullied other children are experiencing similar situations.
If possible organise a meeting of concerned parents. Do whatever it takes to alleviate your child's suffering and treat bullying with the utmost seriousness—no less than you would if your child had a life-threatening illness. Because in the worst cases bullying has been shown to have dire consequences. Remember that bullying can take various forms including teasing, name-calling, ridicule, spreading rumours, and any behaviour intended to hurt your child. Begin by working collaboratively with teachers to address the issue but make it abundantly clear that if the bullying persists you are ready to take further action. Every moment that passes when your child is being bullied is another moment of their suffering.
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