This is the season for a variety of academic results – school students get their final grades before going into their new classes, university students move on to another year and some of the graduating students have already begun to hear from universities to which they may have applied. The common thread to all these stories is the hope of success and the fear of failure.
We are all scared of failure and try to avoid it at all costs. It may be counterintuitive, but learning to cope with failure is as important as trying to avoid it. A University of Arizona study found that failing at a task 15 per cent of the time actually kept students motivated to work harder. Anything more than that, it found, led to hopelessness. If a task is too easy, we are actually not learning anything from it.
It is not failure per se that is a limiting factor – it is what we make of that failure. Far from being seen as the end of a road, failure in any sphere should be seen as an opportunity: to acquire new skills and interests, make new relationships and increase motivation.
It is not just a saying that failure is just another side of success. If one never fails, it means one has just not worked hard enough, aimed high enough. It also means that one has never gone outside the comfort zone.
For those who may be looking for some inspiration in harsh times, studies offer many tips to overcome or cope with failure. These are as important skills as the learning that goes on inside classrooms.
Knowing that failure is a part of life makes it easier to cope with it. Fear of failure limits us from aiming higher and wider. It keeps us within pursuits that are familiar to us. Letting go of this fear allows us to explore more opportunities and take risks.
Failure teaches us valuable life lessons. Embracing it offers us insights into new strategies, avenues and may help us to understand ourselves better.
Coping with humour and acceptance is a far better choice than being demotivated. It also helps to give perspective to the challenges of life and show us what is important.
Failure works at various levels: it teaches humility, increases emotional intelligence, provides resilience and creates empathy. Knowing that we have tried doing something is better than not having tried at all – it gives us the experience to know where we went wrong and what to do better next time.
Dealing with failure is as much of a life skill as learning to avoid it, perhaps even more so. It is what give strength to a human being, the ability to rise above momentary disappointment and make it something more productive and meaningful
“The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing,” said Henry Ford. This one lesson is enough to give a perspective on how to handle the failures of our life.
Dr Sandhya Rao Mehta is Associate Professor in the Department of English Language and Literature at Sultan Qaboos University.
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