Worries, like storms, do pass...

There was a time, we know when we look back on history, when folk knew what their lives were going to be. Because little, or nothing, ever changed. For the twelve to fifteen thousand days of your life, everything was the same.

There was permanence, meaning that if you were born a farmer, you were a farmer, your sons were farmers, and

so were theirs, and theirs, and theirs too, and for hundreds of years only wars, famine, and disease, could change

one’s life. Of course, they tended not to be very long lives, because of those malign influences, but it was the way it

was. To be born wealthy was to be wealthy, to be born poor was to be poor, and probably a life of servitude, but I

wonder if there was the level of discontent among those people, communities, and societies then, as there appears to be today? Probably not.

Even in more recent history, people have suffered and survived. Great wars, the holocaust, the dawn of the nuclear

age in the most horrific manner, have led us not to treasuring what we have, but towards indignation at what we

don’t have, with the baby boomers of the 50’s and 60’s, and yes, I am one of them, that turned the page, and we

were born not with a cry of delight, but a resounding whine, whimper, or wail, of anger and frustration, and the

moaning has never stopped since then.

Yes, here we are, in a golden age of technology, affluence, and incredible opportunity, and yet so very few of us are

happy with our lot! We are unique, aren’t we? We tend to see our world, in terms of what we need, as very much black and white, today not tomorrow, and I fear that because of that materialistic focus much of the romance, the passion, the vitality and enjoyment is being left behind, in the rush. I fear that the ‘snowflake’ philosophy, while protecting the vulnerable, is also creating its own societal group of those who are convincing themselves of their vulnerability, allowing their differences to be weaknesses, and hiding instead of celebrating their strengths.

We worry... we worry too much... and too often about things that, so often, we cannot change. Mark Twain wrote in his later years that he had known many worries, but most of them never happened, and that is so true of many of us. We worry about what others will say and do which instead of alleviating, or mitigating our concerns, creates our personal version of chaos theory, fostering an internal turmoil from which we cannot escape. We really, genuinely, do need a healthy dose of Bobby McFerrin: A bit of “Don’t worry... be happy.”

We also are not very good at ‘letting stuff go,’ holding on to minor offences, perceived slights, and facile criticisms, harbouring grudges long past their ‘use by’ dates. Bertrand Russell, the philosopher, wrote “It’s a waste of energy to be angry at someone who is badly behaved. It changes nothing in the same way that getting angry at a car that won’t start will never make it start!” Even those who preach forgiveness are rarely good at doing it. It’s just not in our DNA and anger comes easier for most of us, than reconciliation does.

It’s maybe more about what we are made to feel we can say and not say, let alone do and not do, in the current global politically correct environment. It says so much about our lack of resilience that we scream blue murder when we are offended... when it’s got nothing to do with us! Most of us have a roof over our heads, a comfortable place to sleep, food on the table, and clothes to wear, and families around us to give us love and affection. Yet we are still not happy. We are so hard to please.