Tuesday, June 18, 2024 | Dhu al-hijjah 11, 1445 H
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Does the face show it all?

Anger could be triggered if we are being threatened or feel we are being treated unfairly

The face says it all, said a friend. But some are always calm, in control of their emotions.

The face that can hide emotions or the one that cannot - whom do you think fairs better in life?

Silently struggling might preserve dignity while the one that cannot control the overflow of emotions maybe an open book.

Who is better off?

The answer to the question is subjective. And we are all not psychiatrists or psychologists, but a group of friends wondered about which personality is better.

There is one among us who can conceal thoughts, feelings and emotions quite well so much that we never know what the person is going through although the person has a sense of humour as well that is prevalent most of the time. Now there are others in the group whom we can detect their mind through their eyes set off to a distant far away place. They look lost and any interruption from our end would be looked at as sheer disturbance.

Even with anger some say it is better to have an outlet than to restrain oneself and feel suffocated. Holding it all inside can lead to more stress induced health problems but on the other hand an anger outburst could cost relationships. What causes anger?

They say that anger could be triggered if we are being threatened or feel we are being treated unfairly. Then there is more - when we do not get what we want, we are disappointed and soon it leads to anger.

When we do not have an opportunity or means to express ourselves then the situation builds up to the point of an outburst but the only factor is that the thrust of it might be with someone else. For example, the stress at work might have build up but the outburst might be with the family members at home who might have no idea where it is coming from leading to misunderstandings and this could be Vice versa. Carrying emotional luggage and dumping it in the wrong place can have adverse effects.

Anger can also lead to hatred because the person in the receiving end might take it personal depending on their character and capacity. For some the outburst might just bounce off but in other people’s cases, it might leave a lasting mark.

As a friend asked, “We can forgive, but can we forget?”

But then again, for whom do we forgive for? We forgive for our own peace of mind and release space in our mind. It is only when we let go of negativity can we fill ourselves with positivity to let creativity flow within ourselves. For anger consumes us and calmness allows us to rejuvenate and can lead to tranquillity.

We crave for peace and accordingly we enjoy being in the company of calm people because they allow us to thrive. After all we all want to be ourselves and truly understand our calling and know the goals we need to attain. But then how can we when we are constantly distracted with someone else’s anger? We end up being on a reactive mode.

There are many people who long to walk away and find their sanctuary.

It is unfortunate that some people think it is their right to let their disappointments be someone else’s misery because they have to digest the words that have been spewed in the air. No one really has the time to research and reflect on the source of the anger outbursts.

What one might need is an outlet to share and talk about their disappointment, confusion or fear. Sharing or having a conversation with a trustworthy person somehow diminishes its power. So it seems we all need to have conversations instead of handling the outcomes of anger.

Taking us for granted is yet another situation that makes us feel let down. If only we realised the numerous ways we lose our relationships and how damaging it could be for others, for words that are spoken can never be retrieved back without having emotional impact.

Our words can either create joy or unhappiness or motivate or break a person. Let us not forget the age old theory what goes around, comes around.

And if we can be a reason to sow a seed of happiness sure enough we will be there to reap the joy.

And that leads us to the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson: “Sow a thought and you reap an action; sow an act and you reap a habit and you reap a character; sow a character and you reap a destiny.” It all brings down to thoughts. And when it comes to anger before you hit the button take a deep breath and if possible walk away, after all why would we want to showcase our weakness?

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