Thursday, March 28, 2024 | Ramadan 17, 1445 H
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EDITOR IN CHIEF- ABDULLAH BIN SALIM AL SHUEILI

The tales of two mothers

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By Rumpa Mitra


Instagram: @rumpa_mitra


Photos by Abhilash Pillai


Instagram: @theimagegrapher


"Mother is a verb. It is something you do. Not just who you are."


This quote has been made famous by Cheryl Lacey Donovan and regardless of country or nationality, this resonated with women everywhere.


Every year, over 152 countries worldwide celebrate Mother’s Day on the second Sunday of May. This year it fell on May 8. The day was marked with well-wishes and social media was flooded with photos of women who made a tremendous mark in almost every child's life — regardless if that child has come of age.


Does a woman stop being a mother just because she is far away from her child? This has been the challenge that Anju has been struggling with.


Anju didn't have plans of moving to Oman. But then, Covid19 happened. She was forced out of her centre when they started letting go of people. As a result, Anju, a physiotherapist by profession, managed to sign a job but the said job means moving out of India into the unfamiliar terrains of Oman.


Anju has been in Oman for nearly the last 12 months. Her 2-year old daughter is under her husband's care. She watches her child grow far away, in a distant land called home. She spends her entire day at work and the highlight of that day, something she always looks forward to is having a video call with her daughter and family members in India. The day is only complete when she can spend quality time with them virtually.


She wasn't there to help her daughter with many of her firsts. She can only watch from afar hoping against hope that her sacrifices will be worth it.


“The bond between mother and child is not compromised by distance. There are challenges but in today's era, they can be remedied by technology," Anju believes.


She hopes however that her daughter will come to understand how she is trying to contribute something worthwhile to her life.


For Anju, days in Oman can be dragging. But she firmly believes that a mother never stops being a mother. She still worries. She's plagued by it every day but she forges ahead knowing very well that she and her husband is creating a better future. Her wish is that eventually, conditions will be better and she and her husband will be reunited and her mothering will no longer be confined within the four corners of a mobile screen.


While Anju's case is that of a biological mother without access to her child, Maimuna is a different story but without a doubt can also be attributed to her being a mother. But can a woman really become a mother to a child she never carried in her body?


Maimuna grew up in a middle-income family of six members. The truth is, she's very young but as the eldest, Maimuna has to fulfil a special motherly role to her two siblings who have special needs.


To help raise two kids with special needs is a full-time job. Before Maimuna thinks about herself, she has to make sure first that her younger siblings are sorted.


After finishing her studies, Maimuna decided to take the responsibility of caring for her younger siblings. She said they mean the world to her.


“My dream is to see Fatima and Mohamed be able to do better in their respective lives," she said.


Maimuna shared that having children with special needs in the family is a lot of challenges. She dreams that those that are under her care will be recognised and that they become part of a research program where they will be looked after.


To make sure that the children are properly cared for, she decided to build a career centred around her younger sibling's schedule.


As the breadwinner, she decided to only take an evening shift job which would allow her to be home in the morning.


Maimuna is one of the firm believers that just because children have disabilities, they should just stay within four walls. As a supportive sibling, Maimuna helped her sister Fatma manage her social media account where they upload her dancing and other real-life incidents. She supports her sibling to be a child influencer to fuel the fire that she can do anything. Her brother Mohamed is not so active physically but she makes sure that both the siblings get their best medical requirements. Her siblings are the world.


Regardless of their circumstances, both women embrace motherhood on their own terms. They are the perfect example that motherhood is the purest form of human existence — willing to make the necessary sacrifices to ensure that the children can grow and thrive in an environment that is usually not ideal.


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