Tuesday, March 21, 2023 | Sha'ban 28, 1444 H
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How to deal with self-deprecating thoughts

Let’s start off by understanding self-deprecating thoughts and why they pop up. Any time you do not value or belittle yourself, you are being self-deprecating. There are lots of reasons why we do this the main one being, a lot of us simply weren’t taught to do differently.

There are usually two scenarios in which self-deprecating thoughts show up. Either you truly do not value yourself or, you think that if you undervalue yourself maybe some else will disagree with you and talk about how great you are. I want you to think about both these scenarios for a second, and how often you do them.

The issue with these scenarios is that in both of them we do not appreciate ourselves. In the first scenario, the sense of self-appreciation simply doesn’t exist and in the second, the self-appreciation is dependent on someone else’s confirmation.

Being self-deprecating does not serve us in any way. In fact, it keeps us stuck in a negative and thought pattern. Breaking this thought pattern is how we grow. On the other side of self-deprecation is a life of freedom. A life where you know your value and, it is not dependent on what anyone else thinks, believes or says. When you are able to own your own value, when you celebrate yourself, when you love who you are, you find a sense of happiness and peace within yourself. The anxiety and discomfort of having to live up to expectations or feeling like they aren't good enough aren’t as strong. This way of living is freedom from negativity.

To deal with self-deprecating thoughts you need to notice and acknowledge them whenever they come. The more you practice, the less they will come up. We aren’t trying to hide from our negative thoughts. That starts a cycle of avoidance and ignorance. We aren't trying to bypass problems. We are living a human experience in which life is filled with ups and downs, negativity, and positivity. We aren’t trying to be toxic with our positivity. Instead, any time you have a self-deprecating thought, I encourage you to simply choose again.

Choose solutions over dwelling on problems, choose love over hate, choose forgiveness over anger. Choose yourself and choose what is in your highest interest. When you are working in your highest interest you know that you need humility, grace, curiosity, and self-love to succeed.

If you are constantly bringing yourself down then no amount of outside validation will ever be enough. You need to believe that you are good, valuable, and lovable. You need to be able to be your own cheerleader.

Here Are 4 Ways To Choose Thoughts That Serve Your Highest Interest.

1. Learn to respond instead of reacting

2. Use affirmations to let go of limiting beliefs

3. Don’t take criticism from someone you would not take advice from

4. Spend time reflecting on your strengths and working on your weaknesses

[The writer is a Transformational Mindset and Empowerment Mentor, Business Coach for Women, and Host of the podcast Live Inspired; Please contact the author for details about ‘HEALTHY HABITS | THE MINDSET RESET’, an 8-day transformation focused on building a mindset from which you approach each day with ease, clarity, patience, and joy. vanessaseymour.com, email@vanessaseymour.com; Instagram: @vanessa.seymour]

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