Do you remember your first rejection? The first time someone said no to you? I’m not talking about your parents refusing to buy you a candy bar as you sat in the trolley at the grocery store when you were five. I’m talking about the first big rejection you received in life. The first time life knocked you on your ass, and you lost your confidence for a moment or two or three. The first time you hesitated and wondered if your dreams would ever become a reality. The first time you questioned what you had done wrong? If you were good enough? If life would ever go your way?
I remember mine. At the time it felt like the end of the world. It’s funny because today it’s barely a small part of my story. You see, there were two parts to my dream. One: I was going to be a Fashion Designer. Two: In order to become ‘said designer’, I was going to attend Parsons, The New School of Design in New York City.
I think I applied to about 8 universities, but I had barely researched the other ones. I was going to Parsons, there was no other path. Gosh, I want to go back and just hug my 17-year-old self. Also, not going to lie, I’m pretty proud of how ridiculously tenacious she was. What is tenacity you ask, it’s your determination, it is your drive to keep trying, it is your steadfast, relentless willingness to believe in yourself and your abilities.
Tenacity does not mean you won’t fail, but it means you will keep going. It means you won’t give up. That is the ultimate skill in life. Life is not about our struggles, but about how we choose to face those struggles. Hold on to your tenacity. Let it provide you warmth when the outside world doesn’t believe in you. You need to believe in yourself before anyone else does. You need to say it out loud, you need to shout out when you can, you need to believe.
Repeat after me:
I deserve my love.
I believe in myself.
I am worthy of my belief in myself.
On December 27, 2014, I received my first response from a university. It was from Parsons, they said no.
I cried, I locked myself in my room and cried for a good hour. My parents told me it would be okay. I still had so many universities to hear back from. I got what they were saying, but at that moment it felt a little bit like the end of the world, but hey, I had always had a bit of a drama queenside to myself. So, I cried for an hour, and then I stopped. A light bulb went off in me. I always knew fashion design was going to be competitive. This was just the beginning, I was not going to give up. So an hour after I received my decision from Parsons I started sewing a garment for my portfolio that I would send to the Fashion Institute of Technology. I made a dress that, I truly believe, was a big part of why I would be accepted to FIT. I took my heartbreak and disappointment and created something. That dress opened the doors to FIT for me. FIT changed my life. How can I not believe that everything happens for a reason?
In the moment things can feel big, scary, and unfair. Maybe, like me, you didn’t get into your dream school. It might feel like the end of the world right now, but it will pass. This is just the beginning of your life. This is your first big rejection, and it is not your last. You get to choose how you are going to respond to this, choose well. Life is about more than fancy universities or degrees. Believe me, you are more than what and where you study. Your life is more than that. Yes, it seems like the biggest part of your life right now but that will pass too. It is just a part of your story. The rejections you receive are just parts of your story, there is still so much more to your story to come. So keep moving forward, keep writing your story. This is not the end, it’s just your first rejection.
The writer is a Transformational Mindset and Empowerment Mentor, Business Coach for Women, and Host of the podcast Live Inspired; vanessaseymour.com, email@vanessaseymour.com; Instagram: @vanessa.seymour
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