Parenting with presence in a digital world

Screens have quietly woven themselves into every corner of family life. They entertain our children during meals, keep them “busy” while we get stuff done, and even lull them to sleep. Technology is no longer the occasional visitor, it is the permanent resident in our homes. Yet, as convenient as it is, the digital world has a way of consuming the very thing we try hardest to protect: connection with our children.
Kids today are growing up in an environment that demands constant attention. Notifications, games, and social media platforms are designed to keep their brains stimulated and their focus fractured. Neuroscientists have found that every time a child receives a “like” or wins a level in a game, their brain releases dopamine, the same pleasure chemical linked to motivation and addiction. Over time, this constant stimulation reshapes how they experience reward and satisfaction. They become more impatient, more reactive, and less able to self-regulate without a screen nearby.
As parents, it can feel like we are fighting a losing battle against an invisible force. However, the solution is not about control nor cutting off technology altogether. It is about teaching presence, balance and awareness. When we talk about digital boundaries, we are not only setting limits on screen time, we are also creating space for connection, creativity and calm.
The first step is to model what we wish to teach. Children do not only hear our words, they study our behaviour. If they see us constantly scrolling, checking messages, or working through dinner, they learn that attention is something to be divided, not given fully. Introducing small rituals that reclaim presence can make a lasting impact: no devices during meals, phone-free Saturdays, or a shared “unplug hour” before bed. These little pauses remind everyone that presence is powerful and that we still control the technology, not the other way around.
It is also important to help children understand why boundaries exist. Framing screen time rules as punishment fuels resistance, while framing them as self-care fosters cooperation. You could say, “Screens are great for fun and learning, and our brains also need quiet time to rest and grow.” By teaching children how to listen to their own bodies and emotions, parents help them develop the self-awareness to eventually manage those boundaries themselves.
Music, play, and movement can also serve as gentle bridges back to the present moment. Encourage outdoor play, or family sing-alongs to naturally release dopamine and regulate the nervous system in healthier ways. Children learn through rhythm, touch, and laughter: the very elements that screens can never replace. These shared moments help reawaken joy and connection, reminding both parent and child of the power of simple presence.
The digital world is not the enemy. It is a tool, one that can either disconnect us or deepen our awareness of how we spend our time. When parents lead with presence, they teach by example that fulfilment comes not from constant stimulation, but from connection: to ourselves, to one another, and to the simple, unfiltered beauty of real life.

Hyesha Barrett The writer is a Master Life Coach and Positive Parent Specialist