If you can’t take a good rub, how can you become a polished gem?

Everyone wants to shine. Few want the polishing. We love the end result: the confidence, the poise, the wisdom, but not the process that creates it. Gems don’t sparkle straight from the earth. They’re rough, uneven, and ordinary-looking until they’re cut and rubbed over and over again for their brilliance to appear. People aren’t much different.
Life has a way of giving us our own version of a “good rub.” It might arrive as criticism, rejection, failure, or an unexpected challenge that throws us off balance. In those moments, it’s tempting to take it personally: to feel offended, hurt, or defeated. Yet, those very moments are often the ones shaping us into something finer.
Imagine a gem complaining mid-polish: “This is too harsh. I liked being left alone in the dirt.” It sounds absurd, however, that’s often what we do when life dares to refine us. Growth feels uncomfortable. It scrapes away our rough edges, exposes our insecurities and demands that we show up differently. It isn’t pleasant, but it is necessary.
Unfortunately, no one develops strength, patience, or grace by coasting through easy days. The polish comes from friction. The rub comes from moments that challenge our pride, our assumptions, or our comfort zones. A difficult conversation, a disappointing outcome, or an honest piece of feedback can sting, and they also reveal who we’re becoming.
Every person you admire has been through their share of polishing. The poised speaker once stumbled over words. The confident leader once second-guessed every decision. The calm parent once lost their temper. We only ever see the finished gem, not the grit it took to get there.
Taking a good rub doesn’t mean tolerating mistreatment or unnecessary hardship. It means allowing experience to teach you instead of breaking you. It’s knowing that discomfort is often a sign that something inside you is evolving. Growth rarely feels graceful in the moment, but it leaves behind a shine that can’t be faked.
Think of the times you’ve been challenged. Maybe someone questioned your choices, or life didn’t go the way you planned. You probably didn’t see it as polishing then. Yet, when you look back, those moments often reveal themselves as turning points. They gave perspective, resilience and a new kind of strength.
True brilliance comes from patience with the process. You can’t rush refinement. Every setback, every criticism, every uncomfortable truth is part of the shaping. The more you resist, the duller you remain - the more you trust the process, the brighter you become. Growth isn’t instant: it’s a slow, steady art form.
So, the next time life gives you a “rub', take a deep breath. Instead of asking, “Why is this happening to me?” try asking, “What is this shaping in me?” Every rub has a purpose. Every challenge carries the potential to bring out more depth, clarity and character.
After all, no gem ever gleamed by staying buried in the ground. The polish is what brings the sparkle.