Nine lessons learned from books, experience

Over the years, through spiritual and self-development books, higher-self programmes, research in intercultural communication and — most profoundly — through personal experience, I’ve come to internalise several lessons that continue to guide my life. These reflections are shared to offer light on the path towards mastering The Secret, and perhaps something deeper.
1. Allah Must Come First: This is the foundation of every spiritual path. In Islam, praying (talking to Allah) and meditating (listening to Him) are essential. If you feel too busy to do either, then it is even more important that you make time. When you put Allah first, everything else begins to fall into place. Begin and end your day with Him. Check in often. A strong connection with Allah brings clarity and ease, even in chaos.
2. Words Are Actions: What you say matters. Words carry energy. Once spoken, they ripple out and return. Don’t speak in anger or judgment, even when you feel justified. Speak with care and act with compassion. Be kind not only to others but to yourself. The way you speak to yourself shapes your reality. A gentle inner voice is a powerful tool for healing and growth.
3. Be the Change You Wish to See (Mahatma Gandhi): If you want peace, be peaceful. If you want love, give love. If you want respect, offer it. You can’t demand from others what you don’t practice yourself. Your actions speak louder than your ideals. Live the values you wish the world would uphold. Real change starts within.
4. Practice the Four Agreements (Don Miguel Ruiz): This simple framework can transform your life: Be impeccable with your word. Don’t take things personally. Don’t make assumptions. Always do your best. These agreements sound easy, but living them fully requires daily awareness. When you do, relationships improve and inner peace becomes more accessible.
5. Get Out of Your Head: When you stay stuck in overthinking, you block growth. The best way to break free is to serve something bigger than yourself. Give your energy to people, causes, or projects that uplift others. Purpose doesn’t have to be grand — it just has to be meaningful. In giving, you receive. In serving, you become lighter.
6. Ask, and It Is Given (Esther Hicks): Nothing changes without intention. Ask for what you want, clearly and with faith. Write your goals down. Read them daily. Practice gratitude — for what you have and what’s on the way. When you combine sincere asking with belief and action, things start to shift. What you seek begins seeking you.
7. No One Is Coming to Save You: This is a hard truth — but also the most liberating one. No one is coming to fix your life. Not your parents, your partner, your children, or the system. You are your own turning point. Allah is always with you — but He does not change your condition until you change what is within yourself (Quran 13:11). You are not powerless. Take ownership. That is where freedom begins.
8. Everyone deserves a second chance: We are all works in progress. None of us gets everything right the first time — or even the second. Just as you have needed grace, so will others. Offer it. People grow, change and surprise us when given room to rise. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting; it means choosing compassion over final judgment. Extend the second chance you hope to receive. Sometimes, that is all someone needs to begin again.
9. And Finally: Have a Little Faith: Even when nothing makes sense, keep going. Keep praying. Keep believing. What is meant for you is already written. Trust the process, even when you do not understand it. Faith does not remove the struggle, but it gives it meaning. Surrender the timing, but never doubt the outcome.