Can emotional intelligence be a burden?

Whenever I attend a management or leadership course, scroll through social media, or read self-help books, emotional intelligence is almost always highlighted as a key to winning the 'hearts and minds' of those around you.
This is whether in the workplace or in social settings. We're told that being emotionally intelligent makes you more likeable, someone who knows when to speak, when to listen, and when to pat someone on the back.
But what happens when you become the person who understands everyone, only to realise that no one takes the time to understand you?
Emotional intelligence is commonly defined as the ability to understand, regulate, and manage your own emotions, while also recognising and influencing the emotions of others. It involves being aware of how emotions drive behaviour and affect those around us, either positively or negatively.
Psychologists link high emotional intelligence to stronger interpersonal relationships, more effective communication, and enhanced problem-solving abilities.
In practical terms, an emotionally intelligent manager is someone who can empathise with their team, remaining composed, patient, and understanding even when a task isn’t completed because they recognise and consider the individual circumstances affecting each employee.
I recently came across a LinkedIn post that suggests practising emotional intelligence constantly may eventually shift from being a strength to becoming a burden.
It described how the emotionally intelligent person is often expected to remain composed, someone who doesn’t anger easily, avoids complaining, and rarely asks for support.
This is the person who stays calm amidst chaos, defuses tension in the room, and ensures harmony, all while their own inner stress goes unnoticed.
The post suggests that when someone consistently shows restraint, avoids emotional outbursts, and never breaks down in front of others, what would make those around them offer understanding or concern in return?
Over time, the emotionally intelligent individual risks being overlooked, precisely because they make it look like they never need help.
When this happens, emotional intelligence can begin to work against you. You expend so much energy managing the emotions of those around you that you forget to reserve any for yourself. Over time, the weight of this unspoken responsibility builds, and one day, you find that you can no longer carry it. Yet expressing that becomes difficult, because you've grown used to being the one who understands, not the one who asks to be understood.
It’s important to remember that it's OK not to be OK sometimes. True emotional intelligence should include compassion for yourself, too. So, put yourself on the list of people who deserve care, empathy, and attention.
Allow yourself to stop making constant concessions, and permit yourself not to always be at your best. You don’t always have to be the one who understands, who compromises, or who adjusts to make others comfortable. And when you choose not to, remind yourself: that’s not selfishness, it’s self-respect.
If, after all of this, others still don’t notice you, give your emotional intelligence a well-deserved rest. Let others sit with the discomfort of not knowing what changed. Sometimes, it’s in that silence that your presence is finally felt.