Are we good parents?
The worst thing that a parent can do to his or her child is to compare him with their peers and pressurise them resulting in poorer academic performance and weak personality.
Published: 05:06 PM,Jun 10,2025 | EDITED : 09:06 PM,Jun 10,2025
Are we good parents?
More often than not, parents admit to have failed to understand their kids which would result in deeper and long lasting repercussions in their future.
Experts say 'one size fits all' is a wrong notion and shouldn't be applied in parenting as each child is unique with strengths and drawbacks and so do IQ level.
The worst thing that a parent can do to his or her child is to compare him/her with their peers and pressurise them resulting in poorer academic performance and weak personality.
Dr Kawthar Hameed Abdullah, an educational psychologist, who counsels students with psychological issues, says that many kids today are struggling in ways that aren’t always easy to see.
'I meet with many children who try their best but still fall behind, especially if they have trouble with focus, reading, or remembering instructions. They might feel embarrassed or think something is wrong with them. This can chip away at their confidence, even if they’re smart and capable,' Dr Kawthar, who is also the co-owner of Creative Centre for Rehabilitation and Creative Therapy, said.
According to her, many kids feel anxious or overwhelmed. Some worry about being liked or accepted. Others carry stress from things happening at home — like parents fighting, being apart, or financial problems. Social media adds another layer. It makes kids compare themselves to others all the time. Even young children are picking up on this need to be perfect, to look a certain way, or to act happy all the time.
Alone in a Crowd Syndrome
And then there are kids who feel alone in a crowd. They go through their day not really feeling seen or understood. Sometimes they act out, and sometimes they just shut down. It’s not always obvious they’re struggling. But if you look closely, the signs are there — in how they talk, how they play, or how they react to small things.
Kids from abusive families
'Children from abusive or unsafe homes face a different kind of struggle — one that goes deeper than school pressure or social anxiety.' Her experiences suggest that when a child grows up in an environment where they don’t feel safe, whether it’s because of physical harm, emotional neglect, or constant yelling, it changes how they see the world and themselves. They might become hyper-aware, always on edge, waiting for the next bad thing to happen, or they might shut down completely, not because they don’t care, but because it’s the only way they know how to cope.
These children often carry their pain silently. They may seem angry, withdrawn, overly obedient, or even too mature for their age. Sometimes they avoid talking about home at all. Their trust in adults is often broken, which makes it hard for them to open up or accept help, even when it's offered with kindness.
It is time to identify such children and take good care of them. These children need more than just rules or lessons — they need adults who are patient, consistent and truly willing to listen. For these children, even one safe relationship with a caring adult can make a difference.
Experts say 'one size fits all' is a wrong notion and shouldn't be applied in parenting as each child is unique with strengths and drawbacks and so do IQ level.
The worst thing that a parent can do to his or her child is to compare him/her with their peers and pressurise them resulting in poorer academic performance and weak personality.
Dr Kawthar Hameed Abdullah, an educational psychologist, who counsels students with psychological issues, says that many kids today are struggling in ways that aren’t always easy to see.
'I meet with many children who try their best but still fall behind, especially if they have trouble with focus, reading, or remembering instructions. They might feel embarrassed or think something is wrong with them. This can chip away at their confidence, even if they’re smart and capable,' Dr Kawthar, who is also the co-owner of Creative Centre for Rehabilitation and Creative Therapy, said.
According to her, many kids feel anxious or overwhelmed. Some worry about being liked or accepted. Others carry stress from things happening at home — like parents fighting, being apart, or financial problems. Social media adds another layer. It makes kids compare themselves to others all the time. Even young children are picking up on this need to be perfect, to look a certain way, or to act happy all the time.
Alone in a Crowd Syndrome
And then there are kids who feel alone in a crowd. They go through their day not really feeling seen or understood. Sometimes they act out, and sometimes they just shut down. It’s not always obvious they’re struggling. But if you look closely, the signs are there — in how they talk, how they play, or how they react to small things.
Kids from abusive families
'Children from abusive or unsafe homes face a different kind of struggle — one that goes deeper than school pressure or social anxiety.' Her experiences suggest that when a child grows up in an environment where they don’t feel safe, whether it’s because of physical harm, emotional neglect, or constant yelling, it changes how they see the world and themselves. They might become hyper-aware, always on edge, waiting for the next bad thing to happen, or they might shut down completely, not because they don’t care, but because it’s the only way they know how to cope.
These children often carry their pain silently. They may seem angry, withdrawn, overly obedient, or even too mature for their age. Sometimes they avoid talking about home at all. Their trust in adults is often broken, which makes it hard for them to open up or accept help, even when it's offered with kindness.
It is time to identify such children and take good care of them. These children need more than just rules or lessons — they need adults who are patient, consistent and truly willing to listen. For these children, even one safe relationship with a caring adult can make a difference.