Mastering the art of talking in public

I often have clients coming to my psychiatry clinic saying they feel extremely anxious in social situations. Their anxiety ranges from experiencing panic when asked to give a speech in public to feeling uneasy when attending a large social event like weddings, while some struggle with daily activities like prayers in the mosque or even attending a meeting at work. Many people struggle for years before seeking help, risking promotion at work and missing out on social activities. This condition is known as social anxiety disorder and is a mental health condition where a person experiences intense, persistent fear caused by the anticipation of, or participation in, social situations. People with the condition fear others watching and/or judging them. These fears are out of proportion to the actual threat of the problem. Those with the condition may have trouble functioning in any social situation, whether at work, school or with loved ones. Symptoms must last for at least six months for the condition to be diagnosed. People with social anxiety disorder experience a combination of physiological and psychological symptoms such as sweating, rapid heartbeats, chest pain, feeling very self-conscious, and having difficulty talking or speaking in a very quiet voice. Some tend to avoid eye contact and believe that other people are judging or rejecting them. There are several ways to deal with social anxiety disorder, from counselling to medications, yet many people with milder forms can benefit from self-help books like How to Talk to Anyone by Leil Lowndes, which offers tips to improve communication skills. The book discusses how observing one’s body language, maintaining eye contact, and practising conversational techniques can boost confidence. The book also recommends practising deep breathing to stay calm and using positive self-talk to boost confidence. It also encourages focusing on the other person by asking questions and showing genuine interest, which can take the pressure off yourself. Building social skills gradually can also be helpful. According to psychologists, 80 per cent of first impressions people make about you depend on the way you look and move. Scientific studies suggest that emotional reactions occur in our brains before we even have time to register a reaction to somebody. The author recommends that when interacting with others, you should start by looking at their face for a second and pausing. This pause will let you soak in their persona. You should then let out a big warm smile that floods across your face. Allow this flood to overflow into smiling with your eyes while maintaining eye contact. Others will respect you more if you maintain strong eye contact. Specifically, this ability is associated with intelligence and abstract thinking. The book also provides tips for starting and maintaining engaging conversations by using open-ended questions, showing genuine interest, and avoiding negative language and criticism. Paying attention to the other person’s words, tone, and body language will help you establish a strong connection and build rapport. So, if you think you have some form of social anxiety, try the above tips and keep practising until you master them.