A life without regrets
'One wonders if regret is a wasted emotion. Would it be better to live life with no regrets? Or does it have some hidden benefits'
Published: 02:07 PM,Jul 22,2023 | EDITED : 06:07 PM,Jul 22,2023
People coming for therapy often regret some of the decisions they made which have impacted their mental health and life in general.
Some wonder what would have happened if they have chosen a different job or married a different person.
They describe it as “like being in a maze and the turns or choices they make will either lead them to happiness or despair.” They feel there is a good life somewhere awaiting them but they have to make all the right choices along the path to get there.
According to psychologists, regret is a negative emotion that we often experience when we realise that we have made a decision and then compare the actual outcome of that decision with an outcome that we would have obtained if we'd made a different decision.
One wonders if regret is a wasted emotion. would it be better to live life with no regrets? or does it have some hidden benefits? Researchers studying cognitive development believe that regret is an important topic that is discussed frequently during therapy. People talk in an angry, self-critical way, they express disappointment about the choices they have made, the ones they wish they hadn’t made, how their “bad” choices created their unhappiness, and how they’re responsible for ruining their own lives.
Some people blame themselves for the decisions they made that didn’t deliver the results they wanted.
Psychology tells us that the decisions we take are often based on previous experience, information, and intentions available to us in that particular moment in an attempt to achieve the goal we desire.
Regret can keep us looking back rather than moving forward. If you find yourself experiencing many regrets practice the following tips: Instead of blaming yourself and focusing on the choices you should have made, turn your attention to what you have learned from that particular experience.
Stop glorifying the life you could have been living, had you made different choices and enjoy the life you're in, be grateful for what you have, and notice what you want to change.
Instead of using your energy to torture yourself for the decisions you made when you should have chosen otherwise, forgive yourself for being who you were at that time and remember that regardless of how it played out with all the other uncontrollable components of life, you intended to bring yourself happiness.
Offer yourself compassion for the disappointment and suffering that you may experience and believe that god wants the best for you.
How to manage regrets and move forward.
If you feel comfortable, share your regrets with people as it may help them too if they are facing similar decisions.
Focus on the good decisions you made and the things you did well and remember that, even with a regrettable situation there will be things that you did right.
Sometimes your regrets are about how your actions affected other people, in that case, you should apologise instead of dwelling on it, and take positive action to right the wrongs.
Accept that making mistakes is part of life and none of us are perfect.
Some wonder what would have happened if they have chosen a different job or married a different person.
They describe it as “like being in a maze and the turns or choices they make will either lead them to happiness or despair.” They feel there is a good life somewhere awaiting them but they have to make all the right choices along the path to get there.
According to psychologists, regret is a negative emotion that we often experience when we realise that we have made a decision and then compare the actual outcome of that decision with an outcome that we would have obtained if we'd made a different decision.
One wonders if regret is a wasted emotion. would it be better to live life with no regrets? or does it have some hidden benefits? Researchers studying cognitive development believe that regret is an important topic that is discussed frequently during therapy. People talk in an angry, self-critical way, they express disappointment about the choices they have made, the ones they wish they hadn’t made, how their “bad” choices created their unhappiness, and how they’re responsible for ruining their own lives.
Some people blame themselves for the decisions they made that didn’t deliver the results they wanted.
Psychology tells us that the decisions we take are often based on previous experience, information, and intentions available to us in that particular moment in an attempt to achieve the goal we desire.
Regret can keep us looking back rather than moving forward. If you find yourself experiencing many regrets practice the following tips: Instead of blaming yourself and focusing on the choices you should have made, turn your attention to what you have learned from that particular experience.
Stop glorifying the life you could have been living, had you made different choices and enjoy the life you're in, be grateful for what you have, and notice what you want to change.
Instead of using your energy to torture yourself for the decisions you made when you should have chosen otherwise, forgive yourself for being who you were at that time and remember that regardless of how it played out with all the other uncontrollable components of life, you intended to bring yourself happiness.
Offer yourself compassion for the disappointment and suffering that you may experience and believe that god wants the best for you.
How to manage regrets and move forward.
If you feel comfortable, share your regrets with people as it may help them too if they are facing similar decisions.
Focus on the good decisions you made and the things you did well and remember that, even with a regrettable situation there will be things that you did right.
Sometimes your regrets are about how your actions affected other people, in that case, you should apologise instead of dwelling on it, and take positive action to right the wrongs.
Accept that making mistakes is part of life and none of us are perfect.