The world needs more listeners

They are there talking to you and in another moment they are gone, leaving behind questions unanswered and words that should have been said long before the departure.

The earth has sudden movements known as the endogenic forces that are sudden such as earthquakes and results in creation of landforms. Our life too goes through sudden shocks changing lives forever. For those who leave we do not know much, but for those who are left behind it is a vacuum that only time can help in moving on.

An illness gives rest of the family members to mentally prepare for the fate but not for those who leave suddenly. What hurts is when people leave and we realise how we had failed to know their thought and sadness, which they had been able to cover up keeping those moments to oneself.

There seems to be a need for awareness about depression not just to get help, but for the family and friends to pick up traits and signs of depression in their loved ones. When there are successful campaigns for road safety and other health issues in large scale why not for everyone to detect signs of depression.

A decision to quit life might not be momentary and might have taken in depth planning or maybe it is an obsessive thought that might have gone around the mind, but it leaves everyone else changed, shaken and realising how vulnerable we are.

Maybe the world needs more listeners. We take training to develop writing and public speaking skills. We are constantly reminded on how to express ourselves concisely for professional benefits and job interviews. But we hardly ever give importance to the power of listening. To let the other person let down their guard and open up so they can share their concerns. They do not need solutions because once they let their weight off their chest they will find their own solutions.

Mind can build forts around it because there have been so many examples when people have been betrayed with their confessions. How often do we actually partake in a conversation intentionally wanting to know about the other person’s welfare? On the other hand how often do you think it would be all right to confide in a person? How many secrets have you kept to yourself?

We still have not successfully reached out to the society to convey the importance of overcoming the stigma on mental health. They even use it as a joke, but the reality is anyone one can fall victim to mental health. It could be genetics or it could be emotions and even physical health.

It is easy to ask, ‘Why did they do it?’ But it is even more meaningful to ask why did his/her sadness go unnoticed?

Why do we lose hope?

Hope comes in with faith. A friend said: “Any religion gives a pattern of discipline in life. The prayer, the efforts take one away from the immediate reality to a zone where there is hope’’.

And then there might be others who have the confidence to think anything they go through is a result of their actions. They might have the strength to get up and move on in life and walk out from situations that are not healthy for them.

Dr Hamad al Sinawi, Senior Consultant Psychiatrist at Sultan Qaboos University Hospital, while speaking on FRONTPAGE, Oman Observer’s podcast, explained how bullying including cyber bullying, financial situation and health as well as stress can all have an impact on the mental health to an extent the individual decides to give up on life.

The feeling of hopelessness that leads to attempting suicide could be cry for help. But when the individual when there is nothing for him to live for it could be a family member or a friend who would have to remind him/her about the beautiful sunrise awaiting tomorrow and the opportunities it could bring in as a pleasant surprise.

It could be a call that can stop a person from taking a drastic step. There are miracles happening around the world all the time. Sometimes we fail to recognise them. The reality is there is no challenge that we cannot overcome and it all begins with acceptance. But until we reach we just need a pair of ears who listen without judging. Can we be that good listener who can do so without prejudice?

Lakshmi Kothaneth

lakshmiobserver@gmail.com