Tell kids about honesty and consequences of lies

here is an episode of the famed Nigerian Mark Angel Comedy series in which a five-year-old kid hoodwinks

her class teacher.

Success Madubuike tells the teacher that her father is in the police station and mother in the hospital and that she wants to go home. The teacher allows Success to go home.

But the teacher felt cheated when the child’s uncle reveals to her that Success’s father is a police officer and mother a nurse. A straight-up untruth — a lie! But Mark Angel successfully visualises to deliver the message and make

his viewers laugh.

What came to my mind at the moment was whether a five-year-old could become so cunning to a lie of this sort! Is it part of the indiscipline or behaviour with which they are growing up! What is the role of the parents to deter a child from resorting to say a lie? Or is it bad parenting? Studies show that kids lie somewhere along the way! They lie to get something they want, avoid a consequence or get out of something they don’t want to do.

According to the Bright Horizons Parenting Newsletter, children are some of the biggest offenders as far as lying if concerned.

“Lying is often ranked as one of the major relationship offenses; we all hate being lied to and we all know we’re not supposed to lie. But, as much as we hate to admit it, we all do it in some form or another. And children are some

of the biggest offenders. It seems they’re born saying, “I didn’t do it!”, the newsletter says.

I have all the reasons to believe the last “I didn’t do it” assertion. Take the case of my neighbour’s six-year-old son. Although he was told not to do cycling in the room in the afternoon and late in the night as it disturbs the residents on the ground floor, he still does it.

Whenever he is confronted he would blissfully deny “I didn’t do”. His parents, apparently, are not bothered about the lie by their kid.

Personally, I feel it is ‘nonsense’ parenting as the child in question, in all probabilities, will be inclined to say more serious lies. The sad truth is that parents of this sort need to improve their upbringing styles.

Young children’s first lies are often more humorous like Success’s in the Mark Angel series.

But the fact is that as children grow and their perspective develops, they increasingly become able to understand the lies that will be believable to others.

They also become better at maintaining the lie over time! Although lying among children is rarely cause for concern, it needs to be checked and discouraged.

Studies show that children can learn to say lies from an early age, usually by around three years. Children when they are in their natural environment, a four-year-old may lie once every two hours, while a six-year-old will lie about once every hour and a half. Few kids are exceptions.

According Eileen Kennedy-Moore, a clinical psychologist, parents often lie to children to get them to cooperate, to avoid upsetting them, or to skip a truthful but complicated answer.

“Unfortunately, hearing adults lie may give kids the impression that lying is okay”, she wrote in her recent column.

Most parents spend years trying to teach their children not to lie and that lying is bad, but virtually everyone

learns to lie.

Most parents hear their child lie and assume he’s too young to understand what lies are or that lying’s wrong. They presume their child will stop when he gets older and learns those distinctions.

As one grows, make him/her understand the difference between what is true and not true. It’s good to encourage and support them in telling the truth. Instill in them the importance of honesty and consequences of lies.