Switch off the pointless midnight TV!

Rasha al Raisi –

Being sleepless for many nights had given me the opportunity to investigate TV at that time of the day. Normally, the only time I’d watch TV is while having dinner and its always news channels (a major cause of indigestion).
I keep flipping from one channel to the other for almost half an hour, either listening to the news or muting the channel and reading the news ticker. Then I’d switch off and later back on again to watch Netflix for an hour or so before heading to bed.
But midnight broadcast is something else. Many channels re-run old talent shows filled with talentless competitors — from screaming singers to fashion designers who’d get the chance to showcase unwearable clothes with wrong proportions (a designer had one leg of the pants obviously longer than the other. I’m still wondering how she wasn’t eliminated for such a mistake!).
But what fascinated me most was watching five minutes of a reality TV show called “The Real House Wives of Orange County”. The scene that I started with was of three blond women with perfectly chiselled bodies and the same plastic surgeries. It was really hard to tell them apart as they sat on the fountain next to each other, one was reproaching the other two while they faked crying and wiping invisible tears. In the next scene, the number of blondes suddenly increased to five or six and I had to focus on what they were wearing to tell them apart.
Apparently, they were in a party to change one of the lady’s family name as she was getting married to someone who looked like Barbie’s Ken, with a fake tan and straight shining white teeth. The hostess kept walking around the guests reminding everyone that she had plenty of food and that: “nobody is going to leave the party hungry”.
I’m not really sure about American culture, but if this happens here in Oman, the guests would’ve felt offended and criticised her crass manners right on the spot: “Our fridge is full alhamdulilah! We’re here to share the happy moment with you!”
One of the guests suddenly decided to inform the hostess that one of her friends has been eating the cake decoration. The hostess suddenly went berserk and left with her Ken-looking fiancé to where the other five women were standing (And guess where? Right next to the cake of all places!). The hostess started yelling at one of the replicas accusing her of always ruining her special moments.
The guilty woman started defending herself by saying that she didn’t do anything wrong. She had nipped the end of the decorative sugar ribbon in a way that was hard to spot. “But you destroyed my cake! I mean would you like someone to do that to your cake?” And the culprit’s defence? “Well you know! I have that sugar thing!” To that the hostess replied: “But there is plenty of food in the kitchen! You could’ve had something!”.
And once again: “Well! I have that sugar thing! I need sugar!”. The quarrel went for almost five minutes (three women ganging against two and the Ken-looking fiancé scoffing for sound effects). The good thing that there were quick shots of each woman explaining her illogical point of view (for viewers who’d developed a sudden brain freeze due to endless repetition).
The sad thing was that this was season thirteen. People had wasted that much time watching a pointless programme. I switched off the TV and decided that hitting the sack was a much better idea!

Rasha al Raisi is a certified skills trainer and the author of: The World According to Bahja. rashabooks@yahoo.com