The beginning of a school year can be a challenging time for children and parents with transitions, new teachers, bullying, social pressure and more. From busy morning to last minute projects, many activities that make up busy school year schedules can be difficult for both parents and students, sometimes leading to extreme stress and anxiety.
Sadly, we sometimes notice the mother threatening her child, that if s/he does not obey her orders s/he will make her/him go to school inferring that the school is unknown punishment, hence the child has frightening ideas about the school and thinks that school is a place of punishment.
School phobia being psychologically and socially impeding the child’s development is a state of anxiety that occurs at the beginning of school and can be represented by a strong refusal to go to school. Unfortunately, fear lies not only in going to school, but in the idea of leaving the house alone and separating from the small community in which he or she lives (home) to go to a new community (school).
Nevertheless, for most children, New Year fears will disappear and anxiety behaviours will be transient, so, the goal of parents is to be supportive. Knowing that the school environment and the interaction of teachers with the children may be the cause of the formation of such phobias in the child. Parents should communicate with the child’s teacher or school official to monitor the child and give him/her the necessary attention and encourage to love the school.
There is no doubt that the circumstances of the house are factors that affect the child’s love of school, if the child’s home is a battle ground between the mother and father, the child refuses to go to school for fear that one of them will get worse during their absence. The child may feel that the school is a place for quarrel and violence and refuse to go to it. Also the way the mother treats her child feels hesitant and fearful of leaving his mother may lead his unwillingness to go to school.
On the other hand, expecting and comparing children causes great psychological stress, such as comparing the child to his brother, cousin and expecting him to follow the same pace and activity may build a barrier between the child and the school.
However, the diagnosis should take into account some important points, such as the distinction between natural fear and disease fear. Hence a comprehensive medical examination can be obtained to rule out any real organic diseases, because many therapists speculate that the child’s problem is “psychosomatic” and later discover that the symptoms are caused by an actual organic disease.
Also, thinking that your child pretending can be wrong. The symptoms of school phobia (abdominal pain, stomach ache, headache, vomiting, fainting) are somatic complaints and your child can present them. Nevertheless, changing schools and teachers due to school phobia is not the right thing to do, as the child who presents somatic symptoms as an escape technique in difficult times will not learn healthy coping mechanisms.
At the end, it does not matter what your child is experiencing or which somatic complaints he or she displays. He has to go to school. Each day that your child does not go to school, it will become more difficult for them to return to school. They will fall behind in class, stay away from friends and therefore school phobia will become chronic and bring new problems with it.
I do suggest that using the communication circles is an important thing that parents should apply to their child, so that they share their feelings. They can tell the child their stories about the childhood days, and that’s what happens to him fear and anxiety is normal and will disappear over time. Take a deep breath and help ease your kid’s anxiety. Remember that it is a routine and that is just part of the parenting process. One day you will look back on these years with fondness.
Dr Yousuf Ali al Mulla, MD, Ministry of Health, is a medical innovator and educator. For any queries regarding the content of the column he can be contacted at: dryusufalmulla@gmail.com
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