Kiki strikes back

Last year wasn’t a good year for my blind cat Kiki. It started in July when contracting the same stomach bug as one-eyed Sinan that caused both constant diarrhea. She was hospitalised and didn’t like it much. Then came October and she lost her balance falling off the first floor and breaking her leg, which meant a surgery and another week at the vet’s.

Returning home wasn’t any relief. Being her hyper self, she had to be confined in a portable dog kennel to help the bone heal completely by limiting her movement. After six weeks in the kennel, Kiki came out -sometime in December- and was shocked to realise that her territory - my room - was invaded by cats and humans alike. It was time to reign the realm back into control and teach the usurpers a lesson about stepping on the wrong kitty’s paw!

The first on the purge list was chubby Sinan who gave up after a few chases around the room accompanied by good slaps. But the same couldn’t be done with Duja who was occupying Kik’s own dais: my bed. Duja’s famous high pitch meow: “Mamaaaaa!” scared the light out of all living beings including her. Not to be deterred, she decided to use a different manoeuvre for the first time to tackle him: karate chops! It seems that while being locked up in the kennel Kiki didn’t waste any precious time. She was training hard and getting ready for the big day when facing her enemies.

The Karate chops move was a decisive one that I’d never seen used before between my cats. Kiki would jump on her hindlegs and chops the air fast (approximately three slaps per second with claws of course!). Being blind, she didn’t really care what came between her and the target as long as she was chopping (after a few of these, Duja learned the trick of hiding behind my leg to protect himself!). Getting tired of being the scratch post of Kiki’s fury, I started putting Duja out of the room: a second victory to Kiki.

Now came time to win the war against the most important target: my aunt Reem who was visiting us for a few months and staying in my room. Kiki wasn’t keen on sharing her room with any creature and made sure to deliver the message loud and clear. If my aunt placed her stuff anywhere in the room, it would end up on the floor within minutes thanks to Kiki. She’d even get inside the cupboard and throw Reem’s clothes out.

The best part was the pride she took in her crime, sitting audaciously at the scene as if waiting patiently to be caught. When hearing Reem exclaim: “Kiki you wicked cat!” I couldn’t help but smile appreciating the evil genuineness that I’d never witnessed in any of my cats before. To protect her realm further, Kiki had a few makeshift platforms from where she would survey and attack other feline intruders: the ironing board and a shelf in my cupboard. Sitting alert on the ironing board, Kiki resembles Batman watching Gotham city from the top of a building.

When night falls and her duties are done, Kiki would sit next to me on the bed and start her cleaning ritual. I read silently, knowing and dreading that I’ll soon be part of it. Kiki would lick my hand vigorously with her sandpaper-like tongue- sometimes trying to remove my nails (useless human accessories!). I bear the discomfort and thank her loudly for her kindness and consideration. Happy second birthday my lovely Kiki!