I’m a bit claustrophobic today... !

I quite like COVID-19 now, because I understand that for the first time in history, I can do my bit to save mankind by doing nothing. I also understand now that at my age is when work is less fun, and fun is more work. You spend your whole life trying to get the balance right, and if you do… It’s for the shortest time! And… I’m being bullied!

At ‘stupid-o’clock’ the other morning my phone beeped at me, in the middle of a great dream, and what was it? An urgent message from someone? No! It was my pedometer app, that I use to see how active I am each day, sending me a lovely message… not! “Walk and live your life,” it seemed to scream at me.

“Walk now!” I don’t wanna walk now… I wanna sleep! So, I punched my pillow, lay my head down, shut my eyes as hard as I could, and told myself to go to sleep.

No sooner had I done so than there was a tinfoil rustle and a gentle crash as my packet of antihistamine tablets hit the floor, closely followed by my asthma inhaler, and an empty water bottle. I lifted the pillow from my head… opened one eye… and sure enough, there was our cat, Persy, looking for some affection, thinking I was playing at ‘hiding’ from him. Just what I needed. It was clear there would be no more sleep for Ray on this morning! So, I played with Persy for a while till he got bored and disappeared. It was fully daylight by then, so being a former habitual early riser, I started my day in the usual manner, by considering, then after due thought rejecting, a healthy workout. After all, I figure if walking were good for you, every postman I know would be in great shape, but they aren’t. Look at rabbits and hares, they hop, skip, run around all day and only eat vegetables, yet they only have a life expectancy of ten to fifteen years. Swimming doesn’t work for me either. I don’t want to just eat fish, drink water, and end up as fat as a whale! No, I think I’m more a tortoise kinda guy… they are as slow as a wet week, do nothing, and live for hundreds of years. I’m more your jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, chocolate eating, chips munching kinda guy.

I consider wisely how to take care of my body during these difficult times, and as I always say, “My body is a temple.” The reality is though, it’s more like an amusement park! I’m more like the guy wearing the Nike gear, who just can’t do it… and the last time I did a push up I can’t remember… Well, there was that time I fell over, and I rolled onto my tummy and used my hands to push me up again… so I guess that’s… you know… close enough… Honestly, I was worried I would put on weight under lockdown, and not get enough exercise, but while I’m jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and exercising my prerogative.

I’m not working at present as my boss wasn’t happy with my productivity while I was working from home. I told him a bus stops at a bus station, a train stops at a train station, and I have a workstation. I still don’t understand his reaction as he told me to find a new job, Maybe cleaning mirrors? I can see myself doing that! However, I have used my time well, and yesterday made the astonishing discovery that the most effective anti-virus is Norton! But also, we don’t have to worry too much, as someone said to me the other day, “Coronavirus won’t last long… !” Keep safe, keep well, and I’ll see you next week.