Thursday, March 28, 2024 | Ramadan 17, 1445 H
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EDITOR IN CHIEF- ABDULLAH BIN SALIM AL SHUEILI

A father’s legacy to a growing child

Saleh
Saleh
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Oman dropped a packet of cigarettes and a child picked it up for him. They did not know each other because they were both walking on the street but separate ways. On a table outside a roadside café, another man with his family were sitting having a meal. I watched the man removing a packet of cigarettes from his pocket, crossed one leg over the other and lit it up.


His son, who was sitting opposite him, perhaps six or seven years of age, was copying exactly what he was doing with his fingers. The man noticed him but chose to ignore him. A thought crossed my mind. It was not the right kind of legacy a father would like to leave behind to his son. When the temptation is too high, parents would put their own bad behaviour first and their children second.


What the man was demonstrating to his son that the watchwords “smoking kills” is an overstatement. He was making himself a “real life” model for the youngster that all the hype about tobacco is not something people should bother about.


A week later, I was at a beach watching a fisherman and his son unloading the catch of the day to a truck from their boat. It was not an easy job. It was four in the afternoon and the sun was its fiercest. They were both sweating profusely. I reached out for my mobile phone and took a photo of them.


What I caught was an act of hard labour passed on from father to son. They would probably end up in their home’s front yard in the evening having an enjoyable dinner with the rest of the family. One would not normally take a photo of a man smoking away his troubles in the presence of a young child just to record an event. But then, maybe I should have…. and draw a parallel between the two examples of parenting. On second thought, in a world where we all live faster than what we have in 24 hours a day, who really cares?


But having said that, old age has its own way of slowing us down. When bones are creaking from every joint in our frail bodies, we start wondering what went wrong during the growing up days of our children when they fall out of step later in life. We would blame everybody but ourselves. By then, we have more time in our hands than what we have to fill up the hours in a day.


Probably the man who puffed away at the roadside café would see his son being diagnosed with lung cancer. An interesting thought would be, “would he connect it to the days he was blowing smokes in the air in the presence of his son?”


Probably not because sometimes the mind has a funny way to block such miseries. A year ago, I attended a workshop when a distinguished speaker told the delegates, “We are responsible for our actions…”


He was speaking to business leaders telling them how to inspire their employees to turn their businesses into profitable ventures. That went well for the delegates. The inspirations are in abundance when it comes to making more money for the trading companies. However, corporate leaders, while they are keen in getting it right in their lavish offices, not many of them pay much attention at home where it really matters.


I am not the best example when it comes to parenting, either. However, getting it wrong at home may not translate into a loss of business the way it is with companies but the avoidance of a lot of stress years later when you should have retired with a peace of mind. It is an equivalent to a nice “end of service benefit” when you see a well job done in the domestic circle.


Saleh al Shaibany


saleh_shaibany@yahoo.com


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