Back to office

Nizar al Musalmy - nizar.nmh.musalmy@gmail.com - I applied for my annual leave and my boss approved it and off I went to some new places where I did so much.

I went ahead and provided myself with that spoiling mood. It was fantastic! But when I came back, I could not help but feel guilty about going back to the office. I felt I needed more time off.

My mind started looking for an excuse to extend my vacation. During the vacation, I really took some time and spoilt myself. But the leave had come to an end. I could not believe it! I persistently whined to myself about the fact that soon, I would have to spend the whole day at the office.

Coming back to the office was so difficult to the extent that the anxiety made me to think of lying to my boss, just to get a few more days off. Nonetheless, I knew I had to return to work and embarked on plans for my return. With a new ‘dishdasha’ and a new ‘musar’ I decided I was ready for work and was up early on the reporting day.

But I was not ready! I left the kids and their mother, and thinking of them waking up without me being there added up my nervousness. I drove to work and reached my office and just the look at my workstation made me sad. I could not even remember my computer password.

I had to arrange for it to be reset. I called our IT help desk and they did the needful. Even after I logged onto the computer, I could not get myself to work, despite the piles of paper that stared back at me. I came back to work thinking I will be happy and full of energy – but by the end of the first work day, I had already felt tired and unhappy. It’s almost like I didn’t have a vacation at all.

All I did was monitor the clock waiting for the close of business hour. Day one at work was a disaster and so were the next four days. Waking up was also a nightmare since I was used to sleeping until just before noon. I went to work with puffy eyes. I started hating my job, but I had to go because I needed the money. But the transition was a little bit rough. Finding concentration was a nightmare.

“However bad I may feel on my first day of work, I will not feel as bad in the next one month or so.” I tried to convince myself.

Not only did I suffer the emotions that came with having to return to work, but I had no motivation to start me off. Coming back from a vacation is a letdown but I knew very well that the vacation had ended and I had to work. After a lot of stress trying to find an incentive to start me off, I decided to roam around other people’s offices for chats and socialization. If you’re feeling it today, don’t feel bad. It happens to all of us – even the greats. Nothing in life comes easy.