Thursday, March 28, 2024 | Ramadan 17, 1445 H
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EDITOR IN CHIEF- ABDULLAH BIN SALIM AL SHUEILI

A compromising husband

Nizar-al-Musalmy
Nizar-al-Musalmy
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The mother of junior has a tendency of bringing up different type of issues time after time.


For instance, “the domestic budget is too little” or “you like your mother more than me” or “you are married to your work”.


This week she came up with “we need to spend more time together”.


I knew there was more than what she was intending and quickly signalled to her that I was not interested in talking about it. I turned away from her saying to myself “the record is showing again.”


She pursued the discussion, this time with more vigour and determination.


I sensed danger and decided to cut off the discussion by agreeing there and then.


“So tell me what to do and I will do it”.


I expressed myself in a low but firm voice.


This expression of mine managed to bury the issue immediately.


This is now my routine of extinguishing the fire. I prefer not to escalate an argument with a disagreement that will never be resolved by withdrawing from the conversation. For me, arguing is more upsetting and always unpleasant. I am just no good in this game. There is no point of dragging a fight with too much discussion that might end up out of control as a result of rage.


When I spend time doing domestic duties rather than watching football and the lady of the house comes with a comment like “with all your effort, the place is still a mess”.


This makes me feel unfairly attacked, but still I take it and avoid any room for any argument.


I chose to avoid the speaker/listener technique whereby I let her talk and I just take the words in.


Being a listener, when a fuming lady is speaking, is a hard job to do.


I need to calm down without defending myself whether I agree or disagree. This is so; especially if you have a wife who thinks that if it had not been for her you wouldn’t have reached the level that you are in. Whenever I sense a problem, I tend to try and compromise because indulging in arguments will make thing even harder.


So you see the father of junior, a man who can manage any landlord in town, one who can easily get a top-up loan at any time he wants, becomes a completely different person while at home.


Just like a split unit air conditioner, no matter how loud he is outdoor, he remains silent indoor.


Instead of his usual charisma of roaring like a lion at the office, he utterly becomes an obedient fox in the presence of his wife.


That spirit of braveness deserts the man like a process of evaporation. Compromise is great in small doses, often necessary to smooth over a few rough edges of an otherwise smoothly functioning relationship.


Take care and enjoy your weekend!


Nizar al Musalmy


nizar.nmh.musalmy@gmail.com


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