Vanessa Seymour -
My gratitude practice has been ongoing for about six years now. It’s a simple practice. Everyday I make a list of 5 things I am grateful for. I started doing this when I was going to university in New York. I was probably at the beginning of what was the lowest point in my life so far. The fact that I started this practice back then makes me believe that as utterly helpless and lost as I felt, there was something in me, even then, that was hopeful. There was a part of me that didn’t want to give up. I am so grateful for that part (see what I did there?).
In the midst of what I am going to refer to as my “dark chapter”, I started a daily gratitude practice. I was seeing a counsellor back then and pretty much every person I spoke to was telling me to journal and to write down everything I was feeling during this period in my life, because one day I might want to come back and try and understand this “dark chapter”.
I didn’t journal as a kid. I had journals, pretty pink sparkly ones, that I would write a Dear Diary entry and then forget about. I don’t know where I came up with the idea of writing down 5 things I was grateful for. Could have been something I read online, could have been my mum, she tends to have good ideas, or maybe it was a brilliant idea of my own. The thing is, I don’t remember what drove me to do it or why, but the fact is that I started doing it.
It wasn’t easy-peasy. There were times it was frustrating. There were times it felt silly. There were times I felt lazy. I kept doing it though. I wrote about anything or everything. Sometimes I was grateful for the stranger that smiled at me on the street.
Sometimes it was simply the meal I had eaten the day before.
You see, I started noticing the small things: everyday conversation, small acts of kindness, the small comforts of life that are normally taken for granted. I had to make the list everyday which meant I had to have things to write down.
I was talking to a friend recently about my gratitude practice and she mentioned how there was no way she could come up with a list of 5 things to be grateful for everyday. I think this is where we see the flaws in how we think about gratitude. We wait for the big things in life to be grateful for. We wait for the life changing experiences before we express our gratitude. We also only talk about being grateful when something good happens. This is where we get lost because we forget that gratitude is not only to be expressed for the extravagances of life. Gratitude is a way of thinking that we need to exercise and craft.
The pillow you rest your head on, that is something worth being grateful for.
The fresh air you got to breathe on the walk to school today, that is something worth being grateful for.
Your best friend made you laugh today, that is something worth being grateful.
The job you did not get, maybe that was because something bigger is coming your way, that is something to be grateful for.
The person that was mean and dismissive of you today, they reminded you of the people in your life that are supportive and loving. That is something to be grateful for.
The cuddle you had with your dog, the food in your fridge, the book you are reading, the podcast you listened to, the sunrise you witnessed. These are all things to be grateful for. Noticing and expressing this, is what a gratitude practice is all about.
Here is my advice for you if you are looking to start a gratitude practice.
Write down 5 things you are grateful for, everyday.
Don’t wait for the big things to happen, start now.
Look around you, notice your life, pay attention to how you feel.
Practice being grateful and one day you will wake up and realise that you’ve crafted a life for yourself that you are grateful for.
[The writer is a Muscat-based student, certified yoga instructor, empowerment coach and host of the podcast ‘LIVE INSPIRED’. email@vanessaseymour.com]
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