Shared Thoughts – Even though it has been a long time, but I still remember, very well, the day when I married the mother of junior. In the beginning, we were really in love and I always anticipated her phone calls. I wanted her touch, and liked her characteristics, habits and manners.
Falling in love with her wasn’t hard. In fact, loving her was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. I didn’t have to do anything. At just a glance and suddenly I am in love. As they say “I was swept off my feet”.
But after a few years of marriage; the jubilation, joy and excitement of that love somehow started to fade.
Slowly but surely, phone calls started to become a bother. That touch no longer was much welcome and her characteristics, habits and manners drove me nuts. When I think of the dramatic difference between the initial stage when we were in love; and a much duller subsequent stage; I notice a clear disparity.
At this point, I start asking myself what went wrong. And as I reflect on the ecstasy of the love we once had, I begin to desire an alternative experience with someone else.
But as I continue to ponder on this, I ask myself why should I blame her for my unhappiness and why should I look for another experience for fulfillment. In any case what guarantee do I have that I would not be in the same situation a few years later?
Sustaining love is not a passive or natural experience. It does not just happen to you. You can’t find lasting love. You have to “make” it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And above all, it takes wisdom.
There are specific things you can do to succeed with your marriage – the laws of relationships. Those who want to save their love story should immediately recognize warning signs and talk together and see if there is something wrong.
Getting over it is useless because if you do not act now, the situation will sooner or later sink. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship will make your marriage stronger.
Love in marriage is indeed a “decision” – not just a feeling. Going into marriage is a God’s plan and it is up to you later on to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go. Learning to love the person chosen by God for you is the key in a successful marriage.
When loves fades, our feelings waver between sad, uncomfortable, and angry lives. It is our right and responsibility as human beings to try to fix it. And we all have the ability.
Unfortunately, many people are afraid to work on their relationships. They may not be able to look that closely at themselves or how they have both contributed to pushing their love to the brink of destruction. You have to know what to do to make your marriage work. Make no mistake – Love is not a mystery – you have to work for it. Have a lovely weekend!