How to be a good father

Nizar al Musalmy -
nizar.nmh.musalmy@gmail.com -

If you are wondering how best you can become a good father, then you have to read this article. It is possible that many mothers might find interest in it but as a father, you need to take heed. So let’s try and outline the type of fathers who would not go in the good books of their sons and daughters. In this article, let’s aim to summarise the importance of the father’s role in a child’s development and ultimate happiness, and see how we can guide a father to navigate the path they must take for success.

First and foremost, let’s look at the type of a father who falls short of supporting his family. This is not good! A good father should not let the Lady of the House be the one to take care of and worry about food, rent and how the bills will be paid. Your son will grow up either not respecting you; or worse, become a burden on some poor woman in future. You also need to offer a reasonable amount of allowances to your children. Allowance should gradually go up as he/she grows older if you can afford it. Kids crave responsibility. An allowance is instructional, and money is a tool for learning. Being broke is not a crime, although some children can sometimes take it that way.

There are fathers who are always marked as ‘absent’ almost every day by their children. I am talking about those men who disappear to work at daybreak and then go straight to other businesses after work. They then come home long after nightfall when the kids are asleep. These types of fathers see their children only during weekends and then wonder why their children regard them as strangers with nothing to say. Father-absenteeism is the most harmful demographic trend of this generation. It is the leading cause of declining child and adult wellbeing in a society. It is also the engine driving our social problems.

If you are an alcoholic father, then you are not doing any favour to your children. They see you as one who pisses away the finances that would have benefited the whole family. Worse still is the fact that no child would want to see his/her father being left down on the floor; unconscious of what is happening, while saliva oozes freely out of his mouth. Believe me, that is not the kind of life children would like to see their fathers go through.

Besides that, the family is affected because alcohol becomes the most important thing in a person’s life. It comes first before they count coins for basic needs. It breeds problems between parents and children, spouse and family members. It leads to failure to meet family obligations. The consumption of alcohol is one of the biggest destroyers of a family. Don’t let alcohol destroy your family.

There are also fathers who are branded as ‘Cruel’. These types directly traumatise their families by being brutal towards them. They are the wife beaters, who make fear and fury a constant theme in the hearts of helpless children, watching moms being abused. There are those men who take their own anger out on their sons, creating a cycle of abuse. In this type, there are subtypes who are the emotionally cruel dads, either in words or by an absence of any affection and good attention. There are some fathers who, according to their children, also do some rather embarrassing things. All fathers are advised to be aware of these and avoid them.

The father-child relationship is the defining factor of the fatherhood role. Fathers who are able to develop into responsible parents are able to create a number of significant benefits for their children. The children have to experience the significance of the father’s involvement in their lives for the benefit of their development and enhancement of social skills thus limiting behavior problems. Men grow into fathers and fathering is a very important stage in the development of children. Have a nice weekend!